Life of a Crispy Cheese Roll

Life of a Crispy Cheese Roll

I think I was happy in that transparent glass-jar with all my Crispy Cheese Roll friends. We used to make fun of each single corner of Kesin’s room, never expecting that anyone of us could ever be a part of that hell. Unfortunately, the unlucky one was me. That day when Kesin picked me to eat, I was very happy to say my pals good bye and join other Cheese Rolls which already were in his tummy. But just before putting me in his mouth, Kesin realized red ants crawling up his sleeves from the desk. He shrugged his hand and lost the grip on me. I was thrown away on corner wall and from there I dropped down to ground via cob web just escaping a giant ciliary spider and reached near his oscillating foot.

There I realized the room was more hellish than we see from the jar. The floor was covered with thick dust except the places where he used to walk very often. Lots of small object were lying there in the dust suffering a hoarse time. None was familiar to me. Two small pencils, one ATM card, a small envelop, a T-shirt, few news papers and a key-ring – all were looking tired and unfriendly. Then I saw many thin tracks of ants and those where the only places where I could see how the actual floor was. It was white marbled floor which was looking like graveyard of 16^th century. Observing the small ant path, I found that my worst nightmare came true. I was barely an inch below of a thick black lump of cobweb hanging from bottom of the table-top and to make the matter worse there was a brown spider in it. I screamed with fear.

I heard a deep voice saying, “The hanging creature above you doesn’t eat you but the sneaking fat rat behind you sure does.” I snapped to my back and found my self in a situation ready to be fed to an ugly-fat-sharp-teeth rat, which I never wanted to. But since so much bad things were happening with me, it would be no wonder if the rat swallows me. Some how I maintained to pray to god not to send me in a rat’s intestine because that would be the last place I would like to go to before going to hell. I think god helped me for that one time. Suddenly I was dragged by Kesin’s swaying foot to a closed place between table leg and wall; and the second good thing was that the rat, startled by this action, ran back to invisible.

Here I was in a corner of the room from where almost three fourth of interior was visible and being a tricky place it was hard for the rat to find me. I spotted the source of voice which helped me when I was about to be a prey. It was a one inch long toothpaste squeeze which fall on the ground one day before me when Kesin was running late for morning class and dropped it in hurry; and never cared to clean it up. We became good friends.

Toothpaste told me lots of things about Kesin. It informed me that Kesin was actually a lover of art and sculptures but never cared about their maintenance. It showed me all the painting Kesin has on the walls which had got black because he never cared to clean them. Toothpaste spoke me about Kesin’s love towards ‘70s rock and how he threw all the music CDs into heap of old news papers lying in the room when he could not get Pink Floyds’ disc. I found out that Kesin was a drug addict and the fact that he might eat me someday when he would be on drugs, enthrall me like nothing did since I was slipped away from his hand.

It had become night. It was cold and damp, mosquitoes started coming out of almost everywhere. Humidity and irritating sound of water filter was making a creepy aura filled with fear. All of a sudden I felt someone is sniffing near me, to my disappointment it was the fat rat with its nose just above me. Somehow it could not find me and started turning back when its tail passed over me. It was a heart stopping experience. Within fraction of second it jumped over me and the result was I am now in its belly.

I wish if there is someway I could send a message to Kesin saying thank you for not eating me, I find rat’s stomach more elegant than your room.

Genre: Fiction, Drama
Type: Story, OK for all ages. :)
Date and Place: October 27, 2006. IIT Kharagpur WB India
Author: Nishant Neeraj

Turning Point

Turning Point

‘Turning point’, for me this phrase has a history. I don’t know exactly when I familiarized with this word, probably around my class tenth. I could still remember talking to my eldest sister about everything happening with our family, about the bad family financial condition, talking about energy barrier in a chemical reaction and talking about how quickly good time ends and bad time takes over the charge. During that conversation I clearly recall myself using word – ‘turning point’, while ensuring ourselves that another similar turning point would soon come when bad times would be over.

Today, while scheduling my next few days, I found myself very close to another ‘turning point.’ But there is a specialty in it, this time I know the range of duration when this turning point is going to occur.

I am writing this log a week before CAT2006 exams and my final year end-semester exams; and at least twenty days earlier to the day when campus recruitment starts. I’ve no idea what is going to befall before me and neither do you. For CAT2006, I am more hopeless for me than you are; and being the subject of the matter I am supposed to know my position the best. But believe me, my haphazard scoring pattern in mock CATs and ‘still no favorite section in CAT’ makes me as unsure as you are, about me.

But what about people? There are many who believe in me cracking CAT, there are others who strongly don’t believe and there are still others who are indifferent but still waiting for my CAT result. It is hard to explain them how beautifully I spoiled at least five months for so-called CAT06 preparation and yet unable to give them a dim dying yellow ray of hope. So the result will necessarily affect my after CAT06 life. For good or for bad, I don’t know a bit and that is the beauty of turning point.

Next is my semester exams, this is important in a sense that my grade’s critical position requires a semester average grade above eight to make the overall grade beautiful. But since I had few big-time misunderstanding with a professor (an S.o.B!) and I don’t know the intentions of my project guide towards my grade though I’ve worked fine but he’s just unpredictable. I can expect anything for this sem’s grade.

And finally, the grand-show – the placement season; it is one of the most awaited time period for any and every graduates’ life. And I can not say surely about all but there are some of them like me who still are undecided about the specific field they would like to opt for, are ready for the season with single formula criteria that ‘money matters most.’
I am ready to work in any field with equal interest (or un-interest), basically I think I have suffered so-called golden period of life student life enough and want financial freedom. I just want to escape from this imprisoning student life and be a part of active world, harsh and unfriendly might be but am sure that I am longing for some rough rides.

I am unsure of my reaction when I will see this post after two months from now or five years after my job experience, but it will be anything but wonted.

Genre: Drama
Type: Personal, Thought
Language: English
Category: For all age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. November 11, 2007

HLL PPT

HLL Pre-placement Talk : A joke never told.

It was a fine morning of first week of september. I woke up at 5:00 AM, wind was cool and it was showering. Whole aura was very sensual and I was lost in memory lane. Nice, beautiful and tingling memories. And suddenly I saw a dog coming running towards me, I snapped my face towards it. The poor creature terrified by my action tried to stop, but the floor was slippery and it slipped and banged its head on wall. It was really funny to see such a weird act by a four legged animal and I blast into laugh. I thought that it was going to be a funfilled day.

I finished all the extracurricular activities (all you can think of.) before 09.15 AM and was getting bored. HLL PPT (pre-placement talk : a presentation to attract students to apply for their company.) was scheduled at 10:00 AM. I still had at least half of an hour to scrap. Then I saw HLL poster which requested people to gather at 09.45 "sharp", I decided to test the sharpness of Prof. Sinha's* promise about not allowing people to enter the room after presentation starts. I headed towards PPT place.

Four beautiful events occured that day.

Event#1 : wada tera wada.
It was 09:50 AM. I was in seminar room and there was one more (and ONLY one) alive thing with me in the room; my mobile phone. After a stretched single minute Prof . Sinha* arrived following him presentation crew of HLL. Two more minutes and here they were ready to present the PPT but they found single lean, panicky and frightened viewer as me. They decide to wait for few others.
09:58 : Two more guys entered into the room. Ahh! finally. But to presenters' disappointment, they were the students selected for coming HLL summer training. A girl (Aunti) from the crew approached them and adviced to dial someone and request them to come to PPT. The guys - with their utmost commitment to HLL - tried to contact anyone and everyone the can.
10:25 : Finally after more than half hour of embarrassing chaos the PPT started.

Event#2: if you're not a winner, you are a looser.
It was a boring - boring presentation by boring boring people for boring boring people to test their boring-ness bearing capacity. Suddently they realized the one and only on time comer is sleeping (hehehe.... bluffing :-D) and they started a video featuring HLL's top-notch guys boasting (yeah BOASTING) about their hardcore job and tough requirements for the job. The messege behind their this highly arrogant advertisment was - "you're capable of surviving or getting selected in HLL only if you are a gifted child and when one start compairing you with God, GOD must come after to you." (I mean if you're ranked 97875 then god's rank should never be lesser than 97876. Clear?)
If you remember correctly or if you've seen IBM's early 70's advertisments** then I can say the Advertisment by HLL was eqally bragging. An old and structured corporation trying to feature itself as modern flexible company. It was like trying to ride on horse wearing Saaree.

Event#3: jan gan man
It was almost closing time for HLL PPT. They asked people to listen their HLL anthem before they leave. Once again; read carefully this time. They asked people to listen their HLL anthem before they leave. have you got it? HLL ANTHEM not National Anthem, correct?
3,2,1 and start.
HLL anthem started, people started standing up. For a second I felt mercy for HLL guys. I thought people are preparing to leave, but to my surprise they remained standing. I was shocked and sitting. Probably the only guy sitting. I was biting my lips and laughing at them for their pre-matured honesty towards HLL, even when they all know perhaps one or none of them are going to be selected by HLL.
It was good to see people who scrach their ass in sitting position while National Anthem is being sung, were standing and attentive in HLL anthem. At least they have got faith somewhere if not neccessarily in India.

Event#4: Yeh tera show, yeh mera show.
The only thing I like about HLL is that they have got money and they have a lot of it. So they organized a GD/PI simulation session by IMS. (a personality Improvement coaching.) I was one of the chosen few (100). Not on my caliber basis, but on lottery basis. Show started camera (videp camera) ON, Lights (studio lights) ON, One student climbed on stage. ACTION. Camera rolling, student started farting about itself. Then.........
KNOCK _ KNOCK
The Lady Director : who is it?
The disturber: It's IMS crew ma'am. We were told to organize a GD/PI session in this room.
The Lady Director : Ohh! we are in wrong room. Pack-up.
[students started laughing.]

I enjoyed this all. Hope you too.
nJOI
Naishe
______________________________________________
* Training and Placement incharge, IIT Kharagpur. 2006-07 session.
** Refer Pirates of Silicon Valley(1999), Hollywood movie/documentary
Genre : Comedy, Drama
Type: Real fact based, personal opinion.
Time and Place: September 02, 2006. IIT Kharagpur. India
Composed on : September 04, 2006. 04.00 AM
Author: Nishant Neeraj
Based on real incident.
It is author's personal view.

The Dog

Once an Avant-Garde painter, while sketching its portrait said, “"This dog is going to be a Noveau Riche in near future and will soon be joining community of Haut Monde Humans". This comment aroused brouhaha among The Humans of the Earth and eventually The Dog subjected to Bete Noire had become cause celebre . Where, on one hand many had accepted the fact of a dog being joining The Elite Community of Humans, Mr. Brush -– the president of Organization for Dogs' Right (ODR) -– on the other, found it hard to swallow. But Mr. Brush was sensible enough not to take any Coup d'’etat and at the same time he could not get The Dog out of his mind.

Mr. Ohsama - one of the finest friends of Mr. Brush - who used to live in Haute Couture and had enjoyed many Haute Cuisine with Mr. Brush, was the carte Blanche of a group known as The Anti-doggy alliance. The group's esprit de corps was to "‘remove dogs vis-a-vis remove faux pas" ’ and it had par excellent skill in doing so.

Since very few knew about Brush and Ohsama friendship, it was ideal to eliminate The Dog through Ohsama. In a tete-a-tete, Brush told the whole idea of eliminating The Dog and assured Ohsama about laissez faire in order to bring coup de grace to The Dog whenever it enters in any of his organization's three branches.

According, to the plan The Dog was invited to ODR on Dog'’s Day Festival as chief-guest, instead of its busy schedule The Dog could not deny the request because of noblesse oblige but The Dog had told ODR that it could visit to one or none of the offices of ODR due to his busy schedule but he would try to maintain savoir faire.

Ohsama, an Enfant terrible - having known the plan, devised a sharp and genuine plot to hijack three buses occupied by sheep, routed to the three ODR buildings and bump one into each of the three buildings, ruining them down and so The Dog. Brush had no idea of the process; he assumed it would be an assassination not a mass murder.

On D-Day , Brush realized the plan after first building had been knocked down. Brush lost his sang froid and ordered Ohsama to call off the plan. Ohsama reminded Brush about laissez faire and forced Brush to realize that getting rid of The Dog is de rigueur.

Now Brush could not do anything but praying lord to save ODR offices anyhow. Luckily, one of building could not be destroyed because the third bus ran out of fuel and the gasoline distributors were on the strike.

En passant, the result was extremely shocking through out the world. Two of three highly guarded ODR buildings were destroyed and The Dog was still alive and currently staying out of lime-light. Brush condemned the act as fait accompli and promised to get the conspirator arrested within one year.

Ohsama, however, bitten hard by Brush'’s comments and failure of mission,– made the Dog'’s elimination his raison d'etre.

One year has passed long ago. All the effort of Brush ended futile. Ohsama is working hard to achieve his aim.
And sheep, dogs and Humans of the Earth are engaged in spreading rumors, disinformation and half truths about The Dog. Everyone talks about The Dog everywhere - in colleges, in prayer houses, on beaches, in restaurants, everywhere -– some says The Dog had deja vu and escaped death, some says The Dog had died in the blow. But the dog; The Dog who knew the savoir vivre, is eating French Fries; may be alone or in a group, on the next table to gossipers -– silently and placidly in disguise. He has gone through a volte face of his personality.


Avant-Garde Unorthodox writer or artist

Noveau Riche Ostentatious Person

Haut Monde The elite

brouhaha Furor, Uproar

Bete Noire Person / subject hated

cause celebre Case arousing attention and discussion

Coup d'etat An unexpected action

Haute Couture High fashion

Haute Cuisine Excellent cooking

carte Blanche Complete authority

esprit de corps Morale

vis-Ã -vis In regard to

faux pas A social error

par excellent Highest degree

tete-a-tete Close conversation between two people

laissez faire Policy of non-interference

coup de grace Blow that brings death

noblesse oblige Obligations imposed on high positions

savoir faire Instinctive ability to act appropriately

Enfant terrible Unconventional person

sang froid Self control

de rigueur Absolutely required

En passant By the way

fait accompli Irreversible act done without warning

raison d'etre Reason for existence

deja vu Feeling of having undergone, premonition

savoir vivre The Art of knowing how to live elegantly

volte face Complete reversal, up side down

Genre: Comedy, Drama

Category: For all age group.

Type: Writing, Education, Language

Language: English, French

Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur, 8:00 PM. August 6, 2006

Pornofied Posters

Genre : Porn/Comedy
Rating: Strictly 18+ due to offensive images and nudity.
Language: English
____________________________________________________________
Its holyday time so instead of eating your head by boring posts, here is something more enjoyable.Below are few images - spoofing movie in somewhat XXXian manner, I found them on
internet . Hope you'll enjoy.

Hey, Don't forget to read tags that I have provided on the side of each poster.







....... Got it? Its clear. It is "Score It like Bekham".
errrr!! Am I wrong with the tittle? Isn't is the tittle of original movie?



























..where are you?

Z->Y-> X-Men

similaraly, A -> B-> C-Men.

Naaah! you know what C-Men is standing for here. Don' cha?


















......... I, Row Boat. No? Then what do I do?
I rub butt?!!




















Its not a man, Its a machine.
....... A machine (re-) producing zillions of similar machine.
Want to know how?
Don't go the nearest theatre The Poster will be suffice.












I LOVE THEM WHO COMMENT ON MY BLOG!

Illusion, is it?

Normally, we forward these things in mails. But probably this has become a bad idea. So I uploaded it to my blog. If you enjoyed, please comment it.

got something special? Nah?! Don't you find Devilish Horn on Pope's head?



[Click the image to see full size image.]












Stare for one minute or blurr your eyes and concentrate one face of the lady. Something happened? Yeshhhhhhhhh! The Lady Opens Her Eyes. Isn't it Typical Gothic?






[Click the image to see full size image.]









nJOI!
Naishe

A Part of My Diary

It has been raining all evening and night, and I have been sleeping more than 12 hours a day. I sleep at awkward times and wake up at awkward times and hallucinate … watch movies, see things happening all around me, see clouds, observe what happening and think… and think very strange things.

I believe people hallucinate. They hallucinate in extreme conditions. I have heard of people hallucinating when they are in great danger or when they are in extreme emotional shock. But probably people do hallucinate when they are greatly relaxed, when you trapped in everyday you have nothing to do except your routine work and you want an escape. Dream is one of the parts of hallucination, I believe. You feel the things going on in dream as if they are actually taking place. Dreams usually leave you thinking about what your inner-core of brain or unconscious mind wish of and your current situation deprived of. Be it money, be it peace, be it sex, or just a change in situation.

I watched a movie today namely American History X, it was much about racial hates and hates groups developing in America. If that was the story of the movie, I guess it would never be at a position of rank 50 in IMDB rating. There was another side of this movie which shows personal conflict of ideas among people of a family and story of a caring brother. A person who wanted to control every thing for good of his family but he could not. Situations and chances escaped from his hand like sand in one’s hand. ‘Life is too short to be pissed of.’ perhaps this dialogue makes me clearer.

I assume you must have been enough confused by now, let me correlate the above three paragraphs. During my excessive sleep these days, I am dreaming almost everything happened, going on or will take place in my life. I dream and in dream I retrospect every decision I took. Then I get pissed off, really disturbed and in no mood to talk anybody. Then I think of ................{**Some very personal stuffs were here. I removed them, afterall this is a blog not my diary}.........But in India, a country where people study to get a job you can never respect a genuine person (I wasnt taking about me, for sure!) with different point of view.

I always wish if I could do something for everyone I love, do something to ease their pain they live in, Or perhaps tell them how I feel about them. Here again the word control comes, I do not have control on everything; everything is leaking out of my hand like sand. At this stage I find myself as Derek Vinyard (Edward Norton) of American History X.

The cycle goes on; again I think, observe, dream, try to control and piss off.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Part of My Diary
May 8, 2006
4:12 AM

Genre: Drama
Type: Very-very personal
Place: IIT Kharagpur

Of Butterflies and Lights

Of Butterflies and Lights

Of eyes and of heart.

Of clouds over grassland

- black and sad.

Of cold breeze of Eastern wind.

Of clay sculpture and

of tear running down its left cheek.

Of values and of dreams.

Of lust and of need.

Of trees and of seed.

Of survival of self-consuming anima.

I’m talking of

Butterflies and Lights.

- Naishe (April 16, 2006)

Authorship has never been my cup of tea. Yet, I dared to scribble my thoughts on paper and to my foolhardiness; I tried to put it in form of poetry. No matter how ugly or non-poetic you think it is, let me know what you think about it. (Use Shout-box in side-bar or click on ‘Post a Comment’ link at the end of this post.)

Although, any form of art is left to observer to interpret its meaning. Generally people bent the idea of artist in their own context, but – in case you are not able to do this – let me help you out.

This poem was written when I was not able to sleep the whole day after two hours sleep on previous night. I was lying on the bed and was re-reading myself in retrospect.

First stanza describes all the things that I visualized in the retrospection.
In second stanza, I tried to search parallels of each visualization described in stanza one with symbolic explanation of whole poem in the final lines.

►►Your comments, hate mails and/or frustration are always welcomed in my comment box. To submit a comment, please click on ‘POST A COMMENT’ link provided in the end of this post.

____________________________________

Genre: Art, Poetry

Type: Writing, literary

Time and Place: April 16, 2006; IIT Kharagpur

Composed On: April 16, 2006 at 12:30 Noon

tangled web we weave*

Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let The LI(E)ght Guide Your Path

It always happens to you. When you speak truth, you think you should have spoken a lie and when you spit out an honest lie, you regret for not uttering a the reality. To me, it is like guessing the face when a coin is tossed. My brain thinks both – head and tail – at the same time. If my logic says Head; for sure, my instinct will suggest Tail and just after mouthing one option (say the one that is Logically correct.) I think ‘god! I should have chosen the other one (One that my instinct says.).’

Let me share a story of a lie which could have dragged me into deep trouble and to unknown consequences.

It was a fierce April afternoon. And after two warnings (Second one was a terminal notice saying ‘Do or Die.’) to submit a letter stating project name and guide’s name with his signature on it, I went to my new guide Prof. New. Prof. New had already made me swear on my honor that I would take the project as a challenge, meet him every week and WOULD GET CLARIFICATION FROM MY PREVIOUS PROJECT GUIDE saying he has no objection in working me under Prof. New[1] . When I met prof. New requesting him to kindly put his million dollar signature and save a lost soul from being kicked off from IIT in its final year, he asked me whether I have taken the permission from my previous guide? I, obviously, had not taken yet.

I always find my self in a situation of coin tossing with truth and lie when I am pulled apart from two equal and opposite forces. Here the notice was terminal but I had enough time, on other hand I could speak the truth no big deal. Both were light pressure. But I decided to take a chance.

I answered, “Yes, sir! Sure I did.” And as soon as I articulated my beautifully crafted confident white lie, I started bewailing on the cheapness of lie. I mean, in case one in a million chances, if this lie opens up I am screwed up.

Prof. New started dialing. ‘Holy mother of the God! He is ringing the previous guide up. Shit! Mr. Naishe, Now you are gone. May god provide peace to your poor soul.’ I thought.
But luck was sitting on the next chair to me (At least I felt that.). No one picked the receiver up at other end. ‘[Big sigh!]’. But what is this, the evil brain had started dialing his home number and alas! Someone picked up the phone. ‘Hello! Mr. Previous guide is there?’ [Pause] ‘Okay, Thank you for the information.’ The phone conversation ended.
“Okay, I will talk to him later he is not at home.” Prof. New said to me.
He put his signature and again ordered me to take the three promises mentioned earlier.

_______
Now I was out of his room thanking God and thinking what to do next. I decided to come to department at two in noon again and wait for the previous guide to come and provide me permission. I came to room.
There was no relief in room. The thought of Prof. New contacting previous guide before I do was haunting me and fear was multiplying itself as seconds were passing. I, finally, left the room at one thirty.
The previous guide’s room was locked. I determined to wait. So I sat down on the ground resting my back on the door. It was high temperature there and there was nothing to do, nothing to read and nothing to eat (I was on fasting.) and to think I had all the negative stuffs. I waited until 4:30 PM and left to my hostel.

Next day, I arrived at department in morning. Bad luck, He was not in his room – waited again for half an hour and left.
I came again in the afternoon – No hope.
I gave it another shot in evening. Haha he was there.
The nice guy gave me no pain and told me that he had no objection and would tell the same whenever Prof. New contacts him.

So, moral of the story is save your ass when you must because lovely lady Luck is not a bitch.


Genre: Real Story, Drama, Comedy
Type: Personal
Time and Place: April 02, 2007 to April 03, 2006, IIT Kharagpur
Composed On: April 7, 2006 at 03.07 AM
*******************

>>>>> Click on the link comment below to post a comment.
-------------------------------------------
* The title is snapped from Marmion. Canto vi. Stanza 17. by Sir Walter Scott
Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!

[1] . In our department we can change our project guide every year after project presentation. It does not matter your guide is ready or not, if you have passed the project credits you can switch to any other professor.

I am changing. yes!

EVERYTIME YOU REFRESH THIS PAGE, YOU WILL GET new image FOR EVERY letter.

doN' belieVE mE ?! trY refreSH

Baby's Bad-Day

Baby’s Bad-Day

{Before You Read This Article I declare that this post should not be considered as SERIOUS. This post is just a recreation of an humorous event. I retouched whole event. Lastly and more importantly this post do not mean to hurt, humiliate, disgust or mock anyone. Please enjoy this post and do not take it otherwise. I apologise in advance for using such a foully language. }

Sky was clear, smooth-cold-eastern wind was creeping silently, moon was on glory and three devil minds were searching for a prey – searching insanely. Hovering on Orkut profiles they finally got one – The One who will be made to suffer for no reason – It was Baby and the “No Reason” was baby’s profile photograph which has (or had – if removed) enhanced brightness. So the drama begins. What you are going to find next is the scrapbook entries made to Baby’s Orkut Scrapbook by the worshipers of devil. Note that these Scraps have been deleted by Baby after no more than 10 minutes when it was posted.

Event timing: 11: 10 PM to 12:05 AM, January 12, 2006

Language: Hindi

Genre: Offensive, Abusive and Comedy

Rating: R for pervasive language. Strictly for 18+

Casting: Baby (Hero), Dharmu, Nema and Naishe in Guest Appearance (Main Villains), introducing – Tauseef Rouff and Mathur, Spl. Thanks to GP

Trivia: Based on True Story of RK CGE.

Goof: When the play starts it is mentioned that the ‘event’ takes place sometime around mid-night but the last scene is pictured on evening.

[Following is conversation with Baby through Orkut Scrapbook]

Naishe: Kya be Baby Jhaantu! Kitna percent brighness badaa rakha hai?

[After10 minutes, it was found that message was deleted and without any warning Naishe (Nishant) was removed from Orkut friend-list of Baby]

Dharmu: Baby Betic**d delete (Message) Q kiya be? Aur agar Nishant ko delete kiya hai to mujhe bhi delete kar de. Tune ek dost ko delete kiya… ja ab Lambu ko chhodkar, poori wing ko delete kar de. Ek baat aur yeh jo tera baal hai naa use thik karwaa le chooze jaisa lagta hai. Saale yehi dosti hai teri .. ja mujhe bhi delete kar de aur Load le le. Time ho gaya hai load lene ka. BYE choozaa dost.

Apurva: Murga bola kukudoo kooooon, Hua savera. Soye Kyun… next time when you go to barber shop take written instruction to the barber and write them before you get drunk.

[Baby. Enters in Naishe’ room (The then Adda for lukkhagiri)…. Next conversation is live ]

Baby: Dharmu madharc**d, Behan***d, maa ke l****, …chutiye saale. Tere ko aur koi kaam nahi hai kya? Jab dekho doosaro ko pareshaan karta rave hai.

Dharmu: Tune Nishant ko delete kyu kiya? Saaale yehi dost….

Baby: Delete karoon naa karoon tereko kya?... Scrap ghar ke log padte hain. Tum saale…. Yehi hai tumhari.. jahaan teri locality hai wahi .. ka asar hai. Tum log ki locality hi gandi hai. Aur tu Nema saale..

Nema: Are? Maine kya kiya bhai? Kyun bekar mere maathe aa reha hai. Baby Sun…

Dharmu: Haan CGE ka hi asar hai. Tere bagal mein rehta hoon naa. Isi ka asar hai……

Baby: Aur yrh Buddha (Mathur) salaa. Haraaam ka tattaa. Marega saale…

[Baby leaves the room and enters into Mathur’s room…. Mathur starts screaming.. it gets louder and then stops abruptly. Some conversation takes place and baby leaves his room and return to his own room]

[Dharmu’s profile gets banned by Baby. Next conversations are on Orkut Scrapbook]

Tauseef: Kya be fir se delete kar diya… kis-kis ko delete karega? Is tarah to sirf teen log bachenge – you know who – lol. Chooze baal mujhe nahi .. barber ko ja ke maar.

[Tauseef’s profile gets banned]

[Scraping through GP’s profile was tried but it was found that he had got banned even before he could send a single scrap message.]

Nema: Kya be Khujli Master…ohh … oh .. sorry Bluffmaster ke bhai Khujlimaster.. delete kar mujhe bhi saale… choooze baal wale… baal kataa k kahin aur lagaa le .. jahaan tu baal chhupa sake. Aaj se jindagibhar main tujhe roz 100 scrap bhejunga.. yeh hai hamaaraa new year ka resolution … Aur haan plz meri profile friend-list mein add kar le yaar .. yeh mera nayaa banayaa hua ID hai.

[After10 minutes, it was found that scrap was nor deleted]

Nema: Kya be abhi tak delete nahi kiya. Dekh maine nayaa ID bhi banaa liya. Choooze.

[10 minutes later. No reaction.]

Nema: Pyaar hamaaraa chhoote naa. Dosti yeh toote naa. Tu Orkut se chaahe hume delete kar dena…… Are!! Yeh to kavita ban gayi. With love your Wingmates .[Kiss]

[2 minutes later]

Nema: Baby ban kar… jo tarika Sahi Singh (Guess?) ne batayaa ho tere ko. Ab tera load lene ka time khatam ho gayaa Qki tera barah baj gayaa hai.

[This message could never be sent because Nema was benned till now. Other wing-mates denied sending a message in order to maintain a better DIPLOMATIC relation with baby. And the long conversation of baby with Mathur made him the weakest link of chain. Now Scraping is over but Asses of all characters were Red for a real-time drama. ]

[Dharmu started commenting on Baby which made Baby furious. Baby attacked Dharmu, having killer spirit within. The story ends with Baby’s non-achievable chase for Dharmu. The last scene fades up showing baby running behind Dharmu on a flat dusty Ground, before them there is a large, pale-red, tired evening-sun about to die and the two rivals disappears beyond the horizon. ]

Credits:

Direction, Script and Narration: Nishant Neeraj a.k.a. Naishe

Production, Marketing & Advertisement: Dharmendra Kumar a.k.a. Dharmu

Stunts and Special Effects: ****** a.k.a. baby

Distributor: Blogspot, Google Corp.

Special Thanks to: All the members of RK CGE, Tauseef Rouff and SF2006 which made Naishe so sick that he found it less boring to recreate a useless event.

© 2006: BEZU FAAKAY ENTERTAINMENT LTD.

Jan 20, 2006; 3:00 A.M., Kharagpur, India

Put your comments by clicking the link below or insert into shout-box given on left side bar. Please mention your name.

The Name Game

The Name Game

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
- William Shakespeare

“Believable and true!” they say. But here is my theory. Every name, which one calls to you with, has specific meaning. The Nick-name, one has for you, shows many shades of one’s brain – one’s interior. It shows how much a person respects you. How much he/she loves you or hates you. It shows how close you two (you and your Nick-Buddy) are. And Beware when someone changes your Nick ‘coz it’s the first indication that the person has already moved one step closer or farther to you, emotionally.

I have loads of nicks of mine. Each nick has a story. No matter whether I love my nicks or not, they are always with me as shades of my personality, as a sketch embossed on timeline of my life, as a memorial of relationships. So here we go with some of my nicks and related story.

Pinu----pronounced as Peenoo. The story goes back before I born. Before my birth whenever my elder sisters used to fight for any toy, my mother made them stop by saying, “What toy will Pinu (A fictitious name for a boy which hasn’t born yet) play with, if you two break it?” And it was so famous that when I opened first time my eyes to this world, the nurse shouted out, “Congrats! It is Pinu.”

Ratnesh -----It was my first school name. My parents gave me this name because it’s beautiful to have son’s name matching with his father (My father’s name is Ratan Kumar). Until class 10^th I was known as Ratnesh Kumar and all friends who knew me before class 10^th still call me with this name.

P.P.----------Whenever make a beautiful drawing or wrote a story or created a poem or distorted a song, I use to put my name as P.P.

Pipaila -------Whenever I made a strange drawing or performed a weirdo-act, “It is Pipaila who did it.”, I used to blame in childhood.

Pinak Pani---My mother says that I born because of blessings of Lord Shiva. And another name of Shiva is Pinak Pani (The One Having Trishula Pinak). So this is one more my authorized name.

Lallu -------Though this is a little comic name, this is reserved for my Papa and Grandpa.

Nishant Neeraj --This is my current official name. Named by my mom and is snatched from deep Hindi Literature. My mother is a genius at creating meaningful and highly specialized names. The name encapsulates her deep feeling to a son and also shows the meanness of Indian society regarding having a son or male dominancy. Nishant Neeraj means the lotus which causes sun to rise by opening itself (Literally). A parallel meaning is “a son who makes heart of his mother bloom” (figuratively). And for the third meaning, you need to know a little about me. I am first son of my parents after two daughters and before my birth, my mother had been suffering taunts and social pressure for not having a boy child. So I was the one who brought ‘ray of light’ or ‘light of relief’ (remember the first meaning? It say I caused the sun to rise i.e. I am the bringer of light.).

Motu-------I used to be fat – a fat-big-liar. Motu means Fat. It’s reserved for my sisters.

Danthtute---My mother used to say this during my childhood because at any time during this period I never had full set of teeth. Another name during same period is Dant-terhe (One has non-straight tooth). Dant-tute means one has broken tooth/teeth.

Naishe------1^st year IIT Kharagpur – every one had some nick. I created Naishē. It is pronounced as Nash.

Neeru-------Reserved for Praveen Kumar.

Nirlajj-------Used by G. Vijay Sagar, Susheel, Maneesh, Harish and whole JCB F-top 2002 batch wing. Nirlajj means shameless.

N2--------- It is short form of Nishant Neeraj. Used by Neeraj (Baby), Abhishek (Lamboo) and Vixy.

Lakha-------Based on a character in Hindi Movie Lagaan which has long hair and cruel face like me. Used by same trinity mentioned above.

Lambe Baal--Means ‘One having long hairs’ and I am.

Sam---------During my summer Training 2005 in DLW, I met three ultimate devilish pricks. They used to talk in same accent we see in Hindi dubbed animated movies. They call each other by nicks Jack, Mac and Pac. So when I joined them we became Jack, Mac, Pac and Sam.

Nishie--------The nascent-most name. Used by Saurabh Gupta (a.k.a. Bhagwan).

There are many nick- names of mine; most of them distorted forms of above mentioned name. Some names I did not mention cuz either they were very- very short lived or forgotten.

Jan 06, 2006 2:30 am

Friendship Funda

One thing that I had learnt in my childhood is (see the image)

which says

“Love/ Friendship is like a smooth cord. Do not break it yank. Once broken, it can’t be undone. If it is tried so, it will have knot in it.” - RAHIM (saint poet, 1500 AD)

“The two best ways I know to ruin a friendship are to go into debt to a friend or to become too dependent on him” -Lee Iacocca. Chairman, Chrysler (20^th Century)

These things are still true and will remain true, until humanity exists (or organic cells remain the constituent of our brain).

Given the composition of a system, there is a natural size for it. Its overall balances are well maintained at that particular size. see the Reference. And I think this is the reason that decline of the Roman Empire began when it became too big and Nuclear physics provides an interesting analogy to this situation, coz you see, when we add more particles in Iron nucleus (i.e. atoms, having its weight more than Iron) stability decreases. There is one more thing we can add in this list is friendship. When you start taking friendship too big to you or your friendship has reached a level where you rely on a friend more than others, it dooms.

I find another analogous natural phenomenon to the friendship or any other human relationships. It is from Molecular physics (I donno whether molecules share emotions or not!). The curve (intermolecular potential energy curve), you see in the left, explains it. It says when two molecules (persons) come closer, attractive forces (heat in relation) increases; until certain closeness. Then attraction forces decreases (realization of defect in relation starts) and more close ness ends up into large repulsion (fight, hate, anger, emotion wrecking and obviously instability in system).

A good observable thing about friendship is it always breaks when you feel closest to your friend. And if it has not broken yet, it indicates that either one of them is tolerating everything whatever other-one is doing to hurt its ego Or they are not close enough to call the other their best friend.

Finally friendship is like glass it meant to break; if not today then tomorrow then why people make so much babbling when it takes place. I find it’s again very natural as it always creates a noise when you break the glass.

Instead of so much blah-blah-blah (kinda boring too!) on topic “friendship”, I still believe friendship is all about forgiveness and keeping your ego down (or using brain). It makes that energy curve less steeper.

P.S.: This document is personal POV of mine (Naishe), it doesn’t mean to harm, insult, judge or blame anyone and neither to prove anything. However your reaction is always welcomed. You can put it ‘Shout box’ in side bar or add it into ‘comments’ by clicking the link given below. - Naishe

IITs : Truth Unveiled !!

This cartoon strip shows our actual condition ... Thnx Kiran !!

Puri Visit: Reloaded “B’day @ Bedlam”

It was preplanned that my parents would come on 4^th September 2004 to celebrate my B’day. Tickets had been bought. Everything was ready but then all cancelled. It came into action exactly after one year with additional plan of tour of Kolkata, Puri, Konark and Bhuvaneshwar (aka Bhubaneswar) and covering four days (1^st to 4^th September). Here is the story of my Puri visit with Mom, Rashmi didi (Elder Sis), Shekhar Bhaiya and Abhilash.

Day1: Kgp: This is a place which I define a Humid – Forrest consists of ruins of 18^th century and hold together by optical wires to prevent collapse.

It was hard but I made them visit each and every stone exist in Kgp in one day. They all fell asleep when climbed the bed. On request for a comment/ remark they just said “(Hindi) Achchha hota ki tera four year course hota.” (Four Years Course would have been better.)

Day2: Kolkata: It was Friday I had a lab class they asked to show them Kolkata. I refused (I am a BAD Boy.). They went Kolkata on their own. ‘Kolkata is not a good place if you are not a Bengali’ describes the best what they said.

Day3&4: Puri, Konark and Bhuvaneshwar: Result of an unplanned journey is pain. However we enjoyed it.

Puri: We had no valid ticket to travel in sleeper class but we climbed in one. Got busted… Paid Rs.350 for five people to TTE without any formality.

3^rd September: We went to all existing temples in Puri. It’s remarkable that you may not find a god/ goddess sculpture into a temple but you will surely find on Pandaa (nothing like Panda. You can say Hindu Monk). No matter what’s their shape, size, sex, language or age is, once you come into their area of influence (varies from 2 meters to 20 meters from their stand point) Pandaa will make you donate at least Rs.21 or above ( depending on their caliber ). You will surely feel looted/ snatched/ humiliated/ hunted/ mentally strained … and many other similar feelings may arise. But for sure you will never feel blessed/ relieved or peace minded. So the peace of lesson we have learnt is Beware of Pandaas.

4^th September: My Birthday … I was greeted, gifted and scrapped (in orkut). We saw Konark Sun Temple (KST) … as I have mentioned in my previous blog Puri Program KST was an embarrassing experience for me because I never see art in it, I always find porn.

‘The scheduled departure from Puri is 10:15 PM on 4^th September by Purushottam Express’ this was the disinformation that we four Educated people were knowing and didn’t bother to have a look on ticket for conformation. (Height of Overconfidence. Isn’t it?) We arrived at platform at 9:30 PM. Train had left the station. ‘Impossible’ was the first word we all spat. But it was true. Departure time was 08:15 PM. How could we do this? … And yes, we were warned there were at least 4 signs:

1. Abhilash had mentioned that at 10:00 PM, train arrives at Bhuvaneshwar. We ignored.

2. Hotel manager had raised his brow when we informed to arrange a taxi at 9:15 PM because Purushottam Express is at 10:15 PM.

3. At 7:45 PM we met a couple running towards Station to catch a train heading to Delhi (Purushottam also goes to Delhi.)

4. We knew it reaches Kharagpur at 4:20 AM and it takes 8 hours to reach Kharagpur from Puri by Purushottam Exp.

Now we were left with no options but wait until its light as there was no train in next 12 hours. Moreover it is a 24 hours journey and we have to sit into overcrowded, dirty, leaky and smelly general class coach. But this time we had some fortune we got one TTE who was ready to allot reserved seats for money. He took Rs.100 per head as his “facilitation – charge” and we had a pleasant journey afterwards.

Now few tips:

1. Never give a single penny (Paisa) to a Pandaa no matter how much he humiliates requests, emotionally blackmails, curses or blesses. He will do these anyway.
2. You can always get a hotel room cheaper and more facilitated than the one you are staying in.
3. If you have long and beautiful hairs don’t go to Puri because you would not shampoo as you wouldn’t ever be able to rinse it off completely and your hairs will start to fall due to hot humid climate.

Series Of Unfortunate Events !

So after registration for Autumn sem 2005 days were rolling slowly gaining momentum. Barely fifteen days have been passed, some stupid planet ( probably Shani, Raahu or Ketu) might have come to a wrong position to disturb my astrological calculation and making my all-good-going life miserable.

So the tale stars from Monday Aug3, 2005. This was the day when I took my first project assignment from my guide and insure him to meet him in next two days with assignment completed.
At night, 8:00 PM, I found my Antivirus had been expired and was not up-to-date. 'Ah! Who is going to attack? I will install recent one afterwards ( for me this mean forever).' I thought.
At 10:00 on same night I felt light pain in my left ear. 'Might be a wax problem.' and I ignored it.
At 11:00 PM body temperature began to rise (This time I was reading Five Patients by Michael Crichton.... It was making me sicker) ..I recognized, it was cold and I decided this time I am not going to have any medicine for cold.
At 12:00 o'clock my computer was attacked by anew version of Backdoor virus and Antivirus was unable to do anything about it except bugging me through dialog boxes. I turned off computer and went to bed thinking next day's schedule.

4Aug was a hectic day. After attending three double lectures, I collapsed into bed when returned to room and woke up at 8:00 PM. Ear pain was sharp, headache, sour throat and running nose were amplifying its sharpness. I took nothing as medicine. At 12:00 I turned computer on and loaded a new Antivirus which deleted the virus. By this time I started feeling weak and went to bed.

5 Aug : I was unable to rise in morning and woke up at 1:30 PM, completed lab work and rushed to lab at 2:00 PM. After lab I went to library and got nothing what my project guide directed to read. Exhausted from fever, paining ear and searching book I came back to room in the hope of entertaining myself by watching a movie available on LAN. No Luck, this time too! Download speed was in kilobytes per second which normally remains in 3 to 13 Megabytes per seconds range. 'Must be some problem in hub' I insured myself but this was not a long time relief antivirus again detected and deleted Backdoor virus.’ Okay that’s the reason' I was suggested by others 'Virus is still in your computer. Format it!’ Hold on.....I have at least 8 GB of my favorite songs and 1.5 Gb of MY DOCUMENT consisting 700 e-books, many research paper and fundas from Painting to Robotics, from car designing to web designing. I can’t format it. More-over I am sick and will do it in weekends.

6Aug Saturday: Formatted C drive installed window.... Antivirus loaded....connected to network...and ""Ding"" virus found....download speed in kbps....Ah!.... Went to BC Roy Hospital....Shit! Only emergency ward was open coz it was Sat. and ENT specialist will come on next Wed. .. got some antibiotic and analgesic... came back formatted C drive again this time installed XP with SP2...No improvement; neither in health nor in computer nor in project work since 5:00 AM .. Went to bed...in bad mood.

7Aug Shifted my audio songs and My Documents to Baby’s comp formatted whole 40 GB installed XP with SP2 .. had pills for fever…. Read some material related to project… restarted my comp… no improvement again in any of the fields.
Got some idea that SP2 limits Download speed but then the same was working fine on others comp…then there may be some problem LAN’s physical port or LAN server …. Some one suggested there are some viruses which corrupt BIOS .. Days were going so bad that I had to believe that the Virus CAN reside in BIOS memory.
So I had a total of 3C1*3C2*3C3 = 9 choices … I started with most probable one i.e. SP2 limits download speed.. Coz I got some supportive docs on web… again formatted and installed XP without SP2.. Didn’t work! Ear pain was tremendous and it was already 4:00 AM I went to bed.

8 Aug : Woke up at 12:00 Noon … Weakness due to fever was enormous and I was unable walk and focus my sight. Had a glass full glucose water .. one cap of amoxicillin.. an Aspirin take some rest and calculated how much attendance I would loss in next two days because it was clear that attending lecture wouldn’t be possible until 10th Aug… and found out possibility of having a meeting with project guide is impossible till 15th Aug if it is not done today – which, clearly, was impossible for me … and also I will be marked late in Robotics assignment.. This was just a though but actual loss was bigger than the thought.
Now lying on my bed, I was thinking that OS is not the problem so I am left with two options 1. Virus either in BIOS or some where in disk 2. Some hardware problem in LAN architecture it can be any thing from my LAN card to Main server.
Two incidences, Virus attack and Hardware Problem, have negligible chance that both occurred simultaneously and Virus attack was sure. So? What to do next? ….reload/update BIOS ? Too dangerous ! then? .. Change OS ? Load Linux?.. It’s hard to handle! Then? Try one more 40 GB formatting? Good ! Sure ..will try this tomorrow and support the OS with Norton 2005 Systemworks. Good night!

Aug 9, 10 and 11 : three days passed in formatting Disk, installing uninstalling OS, antivirus applications and repeating these processes again and again .. Or taking numerous pills… each effort with no result.
Mean while I went to doctor fortunately Specialist was there. Got some more pills and ear drop.
At the night of 11th Aug, I started to focus on second option – a problem in LAN architecture - I replaced my LAN card with Dharmu’s one…. No improvement…. Then an idea strike…why not put my LAN card in his comp…. working fine... means No problem from my side.
Now my computer with my card in other’s room... was working fine. Shit! So those eleven formats for nothing… oh god!

Aug12: Complain was made and instructed that if they don’t come today I will not be able to access LAN until 16th Aug. God made them come that day problem solved temporarily... some problem was still there they just got it working.
Ear drop and medicines worked fever was nowhere and ear pain was minimal … perhaps normal days were coming……

On 13th I asked Baby to share my stuffs that I had dumped on his computer … ‘I’ve deleted it. I had a virus infection I thought It had come from your .doc/ .mp3 files’ he said. God! Nothing left to be ruined.

Wait… I am feeling some thing while writing this blog…. In my right ear… yes... it’s a weak pain. God! Is it a new starting…?