My Favorite Actresses

Why do I like these Actresses?

(Why do I like it series)
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CLARIFICATION: I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL CRITIC NEITHER HAVE I DONE A RESEARCH ON THEIR REAL LIFE. WHATEVER I WRITE HERE IS TOTALLY BASED ON THEIR REEL LIFE AND (VERY) FEW INTERVIEWS OF THEM. IT IS JUST WHAT I THINK.
IT DOESN’T MEAN TO GRADE / RATE ANYONE AND CERTAINLY DOESN’T CRITICIZE ANYONE’S ABILITY.

My choice must really be hard to find. What I see in an actress is not necessarily her beauty or her acting or I don’t know. Perhaps it just clicks fit in my brain or perhaps it is momentary flow of emotion on certain point of time or it is nothing. I don’t know. But I like them for some reason I don’t know. Here I try to decipher why I like them. But I find myself unsuccessful. I don’t know why?

These Pictures and other my favorite pictures of them can be found at Flickr please click http://www.flickr.com/photos/85872393@N00/sets/72157600003268344/

Juhi Chawla: Child-like laugh, cool, full of energy whatever. I like her for whatever she is.

Since: I don't know when but I guess that is quite a long time. I still like her.

Why: Innocence, no emotional crap, Not only happy but happy as a crazy. She is live and buoyant. What else do you need, hmm?

Sushmita Sen: I haven't seen any of her movies properly. Seen some glimpses of her movie names "Main hoon naa" [1]. I am her fan. I love reading her interviews and about her life.

Since: It isn't her movies that impressed me most but I like the ways she is. I don't know exactly when but I can tell you it is somewhere around year 2000 when I started to make my point of views on things around.

Why: At least she has got brain, again no emotional crap, lives her life fullest, does whatever she wishes, mature, beautiful (least of my concerns), independent.

Maggie Gyllenhaal [2]: She is not beautiful enough to be qualified in Bollywood as a star or say an actress. But I don't know what about her appeals me most. I think she is great as a whole package.

Since: Since I saw her movie 'Secretary' [3] and It wasn't long ago yet around start of 2005.

Why: She has got extra ordinary facial expressions and can expresses every emotion clearly and sharply without speaking a single word, bold, her voice, Mature.

Ana Faris [4]: Girl that acts fool. I don't know if she can act or not or whether she is cuckoo but some how she manages to do her work to look pretty and stupid. I loved her the most in 'The Hot Chick' [5].

Since: Since 'Scary Movies' [6] searched her.

Why: Jolly, joyful, stupid yet innocent, laughing yet shy.

Monica Bellucci [7]: Most obvious choice for most obvious reasons. She is everything you've wanted; great looking no no stunning, great actress, Italian tongue and everything else what you can think of.

Since: Since 2002.

Why: Do I need to answer this? Anyways, she is mature, bold, no emotional craps, diplomatic (Yeah, this is the thing I like most).

PHOTOS ARE TAKEN FROM VARIOUS WEB SOURCES AND ARE NOT COPYRIGHTED.

[1] Main Hoon Naa

[2] Maggie's Profile

[3] Secretary

[4] Ana Faris' Prifile

[5] The Hot Chick

[6] Scary Movie

[7] Monica Bellucci

Genre: Documentary
Type: Persona View
Language: English
Category: For ALL age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. March 16, 2007. 10:20 in night.

Drooling on Dollars

Drooling on Dollars or How can you drive good people mad, online?

I am not a good person. Yeah, you know some pretty good things about me being not-so-good-when-needed. But I am as sure as damn if I give you $1000 (Rs. 42000) for copying and pasting (or creating and writing) WHATEVER-RUBBISH-YOU-WANT and then post it to some nasty blog you would start doing it until you realize it needs you to post thousands posts to reach in the slab of people whom they pay. Moreover your content and creativity doesn’t matter, it’s totally a number game.

This website, www.ibibo.com is advertising to pay you for doing same shit and have attracted quit a crowd, the website is so much loaded on peak hours that you cant even access it because of server is overloaded error. And few users (by few I mean thousands) post every 3 minutes (I refresh the recent post list and seen them very frequent and consistent) day-in day-out.

I got trapped thinking it as a competition of good blog and started posting some very interesting yet obscure things to attract the gathering; created very-very real nice avatar of Shakti Kapoor with special effected added by me to make it look as in Eastman Color; gave it very innovative name Virginity, Envy, Boob and Lalu Prasad Yadav (I, however, explained how it is consistent with my profile later in a blog at the site.). But creativity has a limitation you cannot be creative in bulk, reverse is not true. So when I found I, with genuine garbage on internet is lagging by some good 3000 rank, can not win with this or even come close enough to be in three digit ranks I started spamming and spammed my ass off. Here I was in below 1k group but not satisfied because it is a crap to do. I’ve been wasting too much of time for too little. And perhaps there are good people out there punching their nails in keypad, stretching their eyes wide not to miss a single word from the image that is kept for automatic spam protection but not for manual. People with a pint of hope that only-if they push their rank perhaps one hundred more towards the top they could buy a digicam or perhaps an earring for his girlfriend and this motive keeps their fingertips alive and ibibo.com its revenue.

You can access this new and soon to be closed blog of mine at ibibo.com, address is http://blogs.ibibo.com/naishe

© Copyrighted Nishant Neeraj. Ask before quote.

Disclaimer: Writer has nothing to do with ibibo.com or its related business. Writer is a free thinker and the script is his personal view.

Genre: Real story based, Drama, Fun, Personal
Type: Personal View
Language: English
Category: For ALL age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. March 13, 2007. 02:25 in afternoon.

Varanasi Re-learnt

Varanasi Re-learnt

Means: Prostitutes (Raand), Bulls/ Oxen (Saand), Stairways (Seerhi) and Monks (Sanyasi); there is no escape from these in Varanasi.

Even though whole of my childhood, adolescence and a part of young-age have been wasted in Varanasi.

Ahem! Ahem! MSWord’s red wavy line cursing me to rephrase above sentence…so here is “MSWord compatible” version

Even though, I have wasted whole of my childhood, adolescence and a part of young age in Varanasi. I learn new things about Varanasi, every time I visit – apart from above mentioned tetra-invariants.

Dogs per mile, Miles per dog: Train dropped me at Mughalsarai and since Malaviya Bridgewas under repair I had to go to Varanasi through National Highway (NH-2) which adds 30 more kilometers to make it a total 50 km from station to home with 40 km on HIGHWAY.

While on highway I found my interest in dead dogs. They were of two types, Dead and ‘Dead and Flat’ (as in Tom and Jerry).**

Here is the data:

On the way from Mughalsarai to Varanasi: (Morning 10:00 AM)

Dog 1 – Dead and Flat
Dog 2 – Dead and Flat
Dog 3 – Dead
Dog 4 – Dead and Flat

On the way from Varanasi to Mughalsarai: (Evening 04:00 PM)

Dog 4 – Dead and Flat
Dog 3 – Dead
Dog 2 – Dead and Flat
Dog 1 – Dead
Dog 0 – Dead and Flat

Here is the inference:

1. Most of the dogs which die on highways get flat.
2. If it is first and/or last dead dog in your journey on a highway, it have to be ‘Dead and Flat’ one.
3. More dogs die in evening than in morning.
4. Dead dogs never bark, never chase other dog, and never feel bad about dirty truck tyres running over their colorful skin.
5. There is high probability of getting a dead / dead and flat dog in every 10 km of a national highway.
6. Crows are more interested in eating a dead dog than a dead and flat dog. And usually big crows eat dead dog and small crows dead and flat dog.
   

Dainik Jagran Explains: Dainik Jagran, a local newspaper which prints as true news as I speak, expalains the next day that high mortality rate of dogs on roads is due to their mating seasons
[1] and they supported the fact by referring some studies done by a professor of BHU [2].

I wrote to the editor that dogs fuck in mating season not commit suicide. And also mailed to the professor asking why the hell he was interested in dog sex. Was human doing it remained no more interesting?

McD and Multiplex: Varanasi has got two MacDonald’s and two multiplexes in last six months.

‘Someone’ asked ‘Other someone’, “Why are all the ‘Banarasies’ [3] shaking their bum with their mouth shut while watching SRK’s Don?” ‘Other someone' replied, “They all are having McD’s Banarasi Paan while watching changed chhora Ganga Kinaare walaa at new multiplex and keeping their bum plume clean. Do you ever watch cartoons?”

Roads and Language: Both are getting Biharier to Bihariest. More and more people from Bihar are migrating to Varanasi, more and more roads are getting blistered, and more and more Bihari words are being used.

Trend is same in regional songs.

Schwarzenegger to Aranoldwaa: I went to a local pirated-CD shop about one year ago asking whether he had the movie Zumanji. Here is how he replied. (Bhojpuri) ‘Eee Jummaan jee – chummaan jee hum naa rakkhilaa. Aur kahin milbo naa kari.’ (English equivalent) ‘These shitty Joomanjee – Smoochanjee I don’t keep. And you WILL not get it anywhere else.’

One year later same shop. I asked for a newly released Hindi movie. While I was waiting for him to get rid of a customer, a boy of around sixteen came to me (perhaps thinking myself as new assistant of the shopkeeper) and asked for any new movie of ‘Aranoldwaa’. I asked, “Who?” He said, “Don’t you know? Arre, ARNOWWLDWAA yaar. That Fatty… Have you ever seen any AngaRejee Mobhie? ” My jaw dropped down as I was gawking at him.

Soon the shopkeeper returned to the boy and showed him a list of almost hundred English movies which were dubbed in Hindi. To my relief Zumanji was there in the list.

[*] "Dead and Flat": Some dog which die on road remain as they died because people / vehicle don't run over it again and again keeping when-died-3D-structure preserved but some other are not that lucky and once dead people run over them as many time as they can and they loose their death 3D structure by turning themselves into skin thick which looks like road sticking dog's Halloween costume.

We dont see such seen very frequently in our daily lives yet all those, who can afford a TV and still afford a cable connection (and yet afford their children!) in a inflation-o-phile (or Amrika driven) country like India, can see these events in cartoon show named "Tom and Jerry" where at some instant of time when a characted is ran over by a car/ truck or pressed behind the door or comes undes eXtra ordinary load becomes "Flat". Just snach life out of the character and you can see "Dead and Flat".

(On request for a definiton for "Dead and Flat")

[1] http://epaper.jagran.com/main.aspx?edate=3/7/2007&editioncode=40&pageno=3#

[2] http://www.bhu.ac.in

[3] All denizens of princely state of Varanasi.

Clarification: No sir, I don't have an issue with Bihari Junta or Bihar or Laloo Prasad Yadav, it is all what I found there and Innocently reported my POV.

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Genre: Fun, Travel
Type: Personal View
Language: English, Hindi, Bhojpuri
Category: NOT for below 15 yrs

Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. March 9, 2007. Evening 09:20 PM.

KFC Earns

How Much does KFC Make out of your hunger?

• 1USD = 44.20 Indian Rupees (INR)

• Rs. Implies INR in all discussion below.

• 10 grams Gold worth Rs. 9728 in India

• Per capita income in India = USD 705

• Rs. 100, 000 can buy a YEAR of decent living, children education and basic entertainment in an average Indian family of four members.

In KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) one fine evening, in Kolkata February 24, 2007 Saturday I had a light dinner and made a guestimate* of how much the owner of one of such store can earn.

Data:

Location: City Center, Kolkata

Min. Priced food: Rs. 75
(Only two items in this category, most of them lie in a range of Rs. 100 to Rs. 200.)

Floor Area: 30 x 30 Square Feet.

Employees: 12 (5 waiters, 2 Counter Boys, 1 welcome girl, Assuming 4 cook)

Average Number of customer at any instance: 40

Assumptions:

1. One customer spends one hour in the restaurant which is a far long time because usually people come in group of 3 in average.
   Which makes 20 minutes per customer but here we are calculating worst case income.
   
   
2. Employees are paid Rs. 10,000 per month for 5 hr/day 7 days a week.
   
   
3. Total cost on food includes cost of raw material, storage cost, cost of cooking aids (Gas, water, power etc.) and depreciation cost of cooking aids.
   It is assumed 50% of sale price of food.
   
   
4. Operation hours: 5 hrs/ day 30 days a month.
   
   
5. Rental, security, insurance, advertisement, public relation cost: Rs. 125, 000.
   
   
6. verage money spent per person per visit: Rs. 100.
   
   

Calculations (per month):

Total Revenue:

Total customers x Average order price = 50x5x30 x 100 = Rs.750, 000.

Total Income after removing cost incurred in converting raw material into edible food:

Total Revenue x (1- fraction of food cost) = 750, 000 – (1- 0.5) = Rs. 375, 000

Total Profit:

Total Income – Salary Payment – Rental etc. cost

= 375, 000 – 120, 000 – 125, 000

= Rs.130, 000 per month

Worst case profit:

Yet the calculation itself was made too tight to leave a space for any further deduction, in worst case the profit is assumed to be 75% of calculated profit.

0.75 x 130, 000 = Rs. 97, 500 per month

Best Case Profit:

1.50 x 130, 000 = Rs. 195, 000 per month

* Guestimate = Guess + Estimate.

In guestimate I observe and try to calculate some facts in a rough manner. This process includes basic observation, rough idea of processes involved in final estimation and nano amount of common sense to keep things in-bound.

There is absolutely zero reliability of this information, please don’t start putting this data as a fact but if you do so please be ready to logically explain each assumptions that are being made in calculation.

Genre: Guestimate
Type: Personal View
Language: English
Category: For ALL age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. February 27, 2007. 02:01 in afternoon.

My Favorite Rock Bands

Why Do I Like These Bands?

(Why Do I Like It Series)

CLARIFICATION: I AM NOT A KNOWLEDGABLE PERSON IN MUSIC. I LISTEN THEM AS MY HOBBY. WHETEVER I AM WRITING HERE IS ONLY WHAT I THINK ABOUT THEM. IT IS TOTALLY MY POINT OF VIEW. NO CRITICISM.

Linkin Park:

Genre: Alterative Rock, Alternative Hip-hop, Pop grunge, Electronica

Why? Distortion: They use distortion in massive amount.

Eshtyle: Almost scream but controlled, like loud expression of frustration.

Eshpecial: Mostly they keep same trend in a song. For example if a song starts with very-very fast vocal, pace doesn’t change in between the song.

When? When utterly frustrated.

Which? Almost every song.

Metallica

Genre: Thrash Metal, Heavy Metal, Speed Metal, Hard Rock

Why? Theme: Each song has a theme, a story. Good lyrics.

Eshtyle: Song usually have a start, a rise and an end.

Eshpecial: Powerful expression of emotion through vocals, lyrics and music altogether.

When? Every time.

Which? Almost every song.

Pink Floyd

Genre: Psychedelic Rock, Progressive Rock, Electronic Rock, Hard Rock

Why? Not-A-Song: They don’t really make a song. Their songs are in a dialogue with your brain. A weird mental-music dialogue.

Eshtyle: Surprise. They have surprises for you in each song. You will either like it or hate it but nothing in-between.

Eshpecial: Good guitar solos during song.

When? Wenever you’re lost and down or drunk.

Which? Comfortably Numb. High Hopes. Hey You. Another Brick in the Wall. Brain Damage. Almost half of all of their songs.

Rammstein

Genre: Tanz-Metall, Industrial Metal

Why? Ultra Heavy Guitar, Prominent Drum, Exxxtra Strong Vocal.

Eshtyle: Very brief start usually slow then sharp rise in all aspect. Occasional pace variation in song.

Eshpecial: Dominating. You cannot think of anything else while listening them.

When? Mood Josh.

Which? Du Hast, Engel, Hallelujah, Amerika, Sehnsucht, Zwitter, Spring and few more. (I do not understand their lyrics even a single word. I don’t know German)

GENRE INFORMATION FROM http://en.wikipedia.org
LOGOS ARE COPYRIGHTED AND TAKEN FROM AUTHENTIC WEB SOURCES MOSTLY FROM BAND’S WEBSITE.

Genre: Documentary
Type: Persona View
Language: English
Category: For ALL age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. February 20, 2007. 08:30 in Evening.

Gaylentine Day

[Gaylentine and all related articles are a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in these pieces are fictitious and are for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.]

Gaylentine:

The Concept:

14th February. Does it ring a bell? If No; Read on.
Valentine Day, It is Valentine Day for all those who have a girlfriend. And for all others it is just another day with all routine crap to do.

During the lunch today (i.e. February 14), someone coined the idea of Gaylentine Day. The concept is simple. Valentine day is not suitable for a country like India. It has its own risks; physical risk like danger of being beaten by Shivasena and/or VHP individuals, social risks like being exposed in media as ‘Laila-Majnu caught kissing behind Hanuman Mandir’ with a photograph in which police forcing them to show their face to camera, and few other obvious risks like economic risks and humiliation.

Valentine is applicable to minorities of India, as majority of Indian male do not have a female partner but most of them do have ‘pretty close’ male friends.

So for all those who cannot afford / fetch a girlfriend there should be a way to celebrate this day – A celebration of companionship. Since most of the girls get a boyfriend (at least we think so) so this would be a fiesta of boys (mainly). Keeping these things in mind The Someone gave it a name Gaylentine day i.e. valentine day for men only.

It is safe and easy to use.

The Story:

Baby and Mathur – A saga of struggle: On 13^th February night, Baby came drunk to his room. Next day morning i.e. on Gaylentine day, Mathur came to Baby’s door with jasmine garland rounded on his wrist. As he opened the door, he found Baby sitting on bed and the room was filled with puke up to bed level.

Seeing the situation, Baby said, “You have to cross the puke river to be my Gaylentine.” Mathur replied, “But Baby meri jaan, I don’t know swimming.” Baby asked, “What can I do?” and shrugged.

Mathur dipped into the puke river and rose near Baby. Mathur was completely soaked with puke. When he smiled there were puke particles in his teeth. Baby smiled back with his mouth dirtied by his puke. They kissed each other and lived happily ever after.

This way they got their Gaylentine. Someone truly said, “Yeh puke ka dariya hai aur doob ke jana hai.”

Famous Gaylentine Pairs:

Baby and Mathur
VD and Maharaj
Vixy and Adi
Sausi and Dumbledor
And many untold heroes

Genre: Drama
Type: Fiction
Language: English, Hindi
Category: For MATURE age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. February 14, 2007

Craps, Art and Life

Craps, Art and Life

[I don’t know much about literature; never read big books. I am not a person who likes written things very much. I read things when I have to and all other time I love thinking – wandering in my own dreams, getting amazed by my own thoughts and being happy; and then sleeping.

Lately, I thought – just in search of fancy articulation – let’s try something like Art. I started gawking on paintings, listening music, reading articles, stories, novels and poems. I have to say, I used to think that by not touching these things I am not loosing anything vital. Believe me I was correct until October 2006. Then life changed miserably and every fraction of life turned upside down and turned into something like a homogeneous mixture of bad luck and rows of my timetable – each single event is sandwiched by a pair of bad luck.

Someone had once suggested me that reading/ watching very sad stories/ images/ movies elevates you temporarily from your depression. I started that. I was astonished by the realization that how stories/ Images/ Movies/ Poems which you used to yawn at can seem so close to you when you are completely shaken from inside.

The best thing about *ANY* art form is its interpretation totally dependents on person and varies from person to person. And for a person, an art piece is a function of time and space.

I know most of what I said is like a confused confession to you but it is not, you will understand it someday…, because it is a function of time and space.]

Emily Dickinson’s this poem when I read two years ago (mid 2005) I thought, “Whoa! Another sad poem! Who the hell reads these craps?” Last month (Dec 2006) it had changed meaning to me. Here is the poem:

'Success is counted sweetest'

Success is counted sweetest

By those who ne'er succeed.

To comprehend a nectar

Requires sorest need.

Not one of all the purple Host

Who took the Flag to-day

Can tell the definition,

So clear, of Victory,

As he, defeated, dying,

On whose forbidden ear

The distant strains of triumph

Break, agonized and clear.

-- Emily Dickinson (1864)

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1. The image is "Bailleul_Edmond_Paysage_Mediterranean" by MichaelAngelo.

2. The Poem "Success is Counted Sweetest" is by Emily Dickinson

Life of a Crispy Cheese Roll

Life of a Crispy Cheese Roll

I think I was happy in that transparent glass-jar with all my Crispy Cheese Roll friends. We used to make fun of each single corner of Kesin’s room, never expecting that anyone of us could ever be a part of that hell. Unfortunately, the unlucky one was me. That day when Kesin picked me to eat, I was very happy to say my pals good bye and join other Cheese Rolls which already were in his tummy. But just before putting me in his mouth, Kesin realized red ants crawling up his sleeves from the desk. He shrugged his hand and lost the grip on me. I was thrown away on corner wall and from there I dropped down to ground via cob web just escaping a giant ciliary spider and reached near his oscillating foot.

There I realized the room was more hellish than we see from the jar. The floor was covered with thick dust except the places where he used to walk very often. Lots of small object were lying there in the dust suffering a hoarse time. None was familiar to me. Two small pencils, one ATM card, a small envelop, a T-shirt, few news papers and a key-ring – all were looking tired and unfriendly. Then I saw many thin tracks of ants and those where the only places where I could see how the actual floor was. It was white marbled floor which was looking like graveyard of 16^th century. Observing the small ant path, I found that my worst nightmare came true. I was barely an inch below of a thick black lump of cobweb hanging from bottom of the table-top and to make the matter worse there was a brown spider in it. I screamed with fear.

I heard a deep voice saying, “The hanging creature above you doesn’t eat you but the sneaking fat rat behind you sure does.” I snapped to my back and found my self in a situation ready to be fed to an ugly-fat-sharp-teeth rat, which I never wanted to. But since so much bad things were happening with me, it would be no wonder if the rat swallows me. Some how I maintained to pray to god not to send me in a rat’s intestine because that would be the last place I would like to go to before going to hell. I think god helped me for that one time. Suddenly I was dragged by Kesin’s swaying foot to a closed place between table leg and wall; and the second good thing was that the rat, startled by this action, ran back to invisible.

Here I was in a corner of the room from where almost three fourth of interior was visible and being a tricky place it was hard for the rat to find me. I spotted the source of voice which helped me when I was about to be a prey. It was a one inch long toothpaste squeeze which fall on the ground one day before me when Kesin was running late for morning class and dropped it in hurry; and never cared to clean it up. We became good friends.

Toothpaste told me lots of things about Kesin. It informed me that Kesin was actually a lover of art and sculptures but never cared about their maintenance. It showed me all the painting Kesin has on the walls which had got black because he never cared to clean them. Toothpaste spoke me about Kesin’s love towards ‘70s rock and how he threw all the music CDs into heap of old news papers lying in the room when he could not get Pink Floyds’ disc. I found out that Kesin was a drug addict and the fact that he might eat me someday when he would be on drugs, enthrall me like nothing did since I was slipped away from his hand.

It had become night. It was cold and damp, mosquitoes started coming out of almost everywhere. Humidity and irritating sound of water filter was making a creepy aura filled with fear. All of a sudden I felt someone is sniffing near me, to my disappointment it was the fat rat with its nose just above me. Somehow it could not find me and started turning back when its tail passed over me. It was a heart stopping experience. Within fraction of second it jumped over me and the result was I am now in its belly.

I wish if there is someway I could send a message to Kesin saying thank you for not eating me, I find rat’s stomach more elegant than your room.

Genre: Fiction, Drama
Type: Story, OK for all ages. :)
Date and Place: October 27, 2006. IIT Kharagpur WB India
Author: Nishant Neeraj

Turning Point

Turning Point

‘Turning point’, for me this phrase has a history. I don’t know exactly when I familiarized with this word, probably around my class tenth. I could still remember talking to my eldest sister about everything happening with our family, about the bad family financial condition, talking about energy barrier in a chemical reaction and talking about how quickly good time ends and bad time takes over the charge. During that conversation I clearly recall myself using word – ‘turning point’, while ensuring ourselves that another similar turning point would soon come when bad times would be over.

Today, while scheduling my next few days, I found myself very close to another ‘turning point.’ But there is a specialty in it, this time I know the range of duration when this turning point is going to occur.

I am writing this log a week before CAT2006 exams and my final year end-semester exams; and at least twenty days earlier to the day when campus recruitment starts. I’ve no idea what is going to befall before me and neither do you. For CAT2006, I am more hopeless for me than you are; and being the subject of the matter I am supposed to know my position the best. But believe me, my haphazard scoring pattern in mock CATs and ‘still no favorite section in CAT’ makes me as unsure as you are, about me.

But what about people? There are many who believe in me cracking CAT, there are others who strongly don’t believe and there are still others who are indifferent but still waiting for my CAT result. It is hard to explain them how beautifully I spoiled at least five months for so-called CAT06 preparation and yet unable to give them a dim dying yellow ray of hope. So the result will necessarily affect my after CAT06 life. For good or for bad, I don’t know a bit and that is the beauty of turning point.

Next is my semester exams, this is important in a sense that my grade’s critical position requires a semester average grade above eight to make the overall grade beautiful. But since I had few big-time misunderstanding with a professor (an S.o.B!) and I don’t know the intentions of my project guide towards my grade though I’ve worked fine but he’s just unpredictable. I can expect anything for this sem’s grade.

And finally, the grand-show – the placement season; it is one of the most awaited time period for any and every graduates’ life. And I can not say surely about all but there are some of them like me who still are undecided about the specific field they would like to opt for, are ready for the season with single formula criteria that ‘money matters most.’
I am ready to work in any field with equal interest (or un-interest), basically I think I have suffered so-called golden period of life student life enough and want financial freedom. I just want to escape from this imprisoning student life and be a part of active world, harsh and unfriendly might be but am sure that I am longing for some rough rides.

I am unsure of my reaction when I will see this post after two months from now or five years after my job experience, but it will be anything but wonted.

Genre: Drama
Type: Personal, Thought
Language: English
Category: For all age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. November 11, 2007

HLL PPT

HLL Pre-placement Talk : A joke never told.

It was a fine morning of first week of september. I woke up at 5:00 AM, wind was cool and it was showering. Whole aura was very sensual and I was lost in memory lane. Nice, beautiful and tingling memories. And suddenly I saw a dog coming running towards me, I snapped my face towards it. The poor creature terrified by my action tried to stop, but the floor was slippery and it slipped and banged its head on wall. It was really funny to see such a weird act by a four legged animal and I blast into laugh. I thought that it was going to be a funfilled day.

I finished all the extracurricular activities (all you can think of.) before 09.15 AM and was getting bored. HLL PPT (pre-placement talk : a presentation to attract students to apply for their company.) was scheduled at 10:00 AM. I still had at least half of an hour to scrap. Then I saw HLL poster which requested people to gather at 09.45 "sharp", I decided to test the sharpness of Prof. Sinha's* promise about not allowing people to enter the room after presentation starts. I headed towards PPT place.

Four beautiful events occured that day.

Event#1 : wada tera wada.
It was 09:50 AM. I was in seminar room and there was one more (and ONLY one) alive thing with me in the room; my mobile phone. After a stretched single minute Prof . Sinha* arrived following him presentation crew of HLL. Two more minutes and here they were ready to present the PPT but they found single lean, panicky and frightened viewer as me. They decide to wait for few others.
09:58 : Two more guys entered into the room. Ahh! finally. But to presenters' disappointment, they were the students selected for coming HLL summer training. A girl (Aunti) from the crew approached them and adviced to dial someone and request them to come to PPT. The guys - with their utmost commitment to HLL - tried to contact anyone and everyone the can.
10:25 : Finally after more than half hour of embarrassing chaos the PPT started.

Event#2: if you're not a winner, you are a looser.
It was a boring - boring presentation by boring boring people for boring boring people to test their boring-ness bearing capacity. Suddently they realized the one and only on time comer is sleeping (hehehe.... bluffing :-D) and they started a video featuring HLL's top-notch guys boasting (yeah BOASTING) about their hardcore job and tough requirements for the job. The messege behind their this highly arrogant advertisment was - "you're capable of surviving or getting selected in HLL only if you are a gifted child and when one start compairing you with God, GOD must come after to you." (I mean if you're ranked 97875 then god's rank should never be lesser than 97876. Clear?)
If you remember correctly or if you've seen IBM's early 70's advertisments** then I can say the Advertisment by HLL was eqally bragging. An old and structured corporation trying to feature itself as modern flexible company. It was like trying to ride on horse wearing Saaree.

Event#3: jan gan man
It was almost closing time for HLL PPT. They asked people to listen their HLL anthem before they leave. Once again; read carefully this time. They asked people to listen their HLL anthem before they leave. have you got it? HLL ANTHEM not National Anthem, correct?
3,2,1 and start.
HLL anthem started, people started standing up. For a second I felt mercy for HLL guys. I thought people are preparing to leave, but to my surprise they remained standing. I was shocked and sitting. Probably the only guy sitting. I was biting my lips and laughing at them for their pre-matured honesty towards HLL, even when they all know perhaps one or none of them are going to be selected by HLL.
It was good to see people who scrach their ass in sitting position while National Anthem is being sung, were standing and attentive in HLL anthem. At least they have got faith somewhere if not neccessarily in India.

Event#4: Yeh tera show, yeh mera show.
The only thing I like about HLL is that they have got money and they have a lot of it. So they organized a GD/PI simulation session by IMS. (a personality Improvement coaching.) I was one of the chosen few (100). Not on my caliber basis, but on lottery basis. Show started camera (videp camera) ON, Lights (studio lights) ON, One student climbed on stage. ACTION. Camera rolling, student started farting about itself. Then.........
KNOCK _ KNOCK
The Lady Director : who is it?
The disturber: It's IMS crew ma'am. We were told to organize a GD/PI session in this room.
The Lady Director : Ohh! we are in wrong room. Pack-up.
[students started laughing.]

I enjoyed this all. Hope you too.
nJOI
Naishe
______________________________________________
* Training and Placement incharge, IIT Kharagpur. 2006-07 session.
** Refer Pirates of Silicon Valley(1999), Hollywood movie/documentary
Genre : Comedy, Drama
Type: Real fact based, personal opinion.
Time and Place: September 02, 2006. IIT Kharagpur. India
Composed on : September 04, 2006. 04.00 AM
Author: Nishant Neeraj
Based on real incident.
It is author's personal view.

The Dog

Once an Avant-Garde painter, while sketching its portrait said, “"This dog is going to be a Noveau Riche in near future and will soon be joining community of Haut Monde Humans". This comment aroused brouhaha among The Humans of the Earth and eventually The Dog subjected to Bete Noire had become cause celebre . Where, on one hand many had accepted the fact of a dog being joining The Elite Community of Humans, Mr. Brush -– the president of Organization for Dogs' Right (ODR) -– on the other, found it hard to swallow. But Mr. Brush was sensible enough not to take any Coup d'’etat and at the same time he could not get The Dog out of his mind.

Mr. Ohsama - one of the finest friends of Mr. Brush - who used to live in Haute Couture and had enjoyed many Haute Cuisine with Mr. Brush, was the carte Blanche of a group known as The Anti-doggy alliance. The group's esprit de corps was to "‘remove dogs vis-a-vis remove faux pas" ’ and it had par excellent skill in doing so.

Since very few knew about Brush and Ohsama friendship, it was ideal to eliminate The Dog through Ohsama. In a tete-a-tete, Brush told the whole idea of eliminating The Dog and assured Ohsama about laissez faire in order to bring coup de grace to The Dog whenever it enters in any of his organization's three branches.

According, to the plan The Dog was invited to ODR on Dog'’s Day Festival as chief-guest, instead of its busy schedule The Dog could not deny the request because of noblesse oblige but The Dog had told ODR that it could visit to one or none of the offices of ODR due to his busy schedule but he would try to maintain savoir faire.

Ohsama, an Enfant terrible - having known the plan, devised a sharp and genuine plot to hijack three buses occupied by sheep, routed to the three ODR buildings and bump one into each of the three buildings, ruining them down and so The Dog. Brush had no idea of the process; he assumed it would be an assassination not a mass murder.

On D-Day , Brush realized the plan after first building had been knocked down. Brush lost his sang froid and ordered Ohsama to call off the plan. Ohsama reminded Brush about laissez faire and forced Brush to realize that getting rid of The Dog is de rigueur.

Now Brush could not do anything but praying lord to save ODR offices anyhow. Luckily, one of building could not be destroyed because the third bus ran out of fuel and the gasoline distributors were on the strike.

En passant, the result was extremely shocking through out the world. Two of three highly guarded ODR buildings were destroyed and The Dog was still alive and currently staying out of lime-light. Brush condemned the act as fait accompli and promised to get the conspirator arrested within one year.

Ohsama, however, bitten hard by Brush'’s comments and failure of mission,– made the Dog'’s elimination his raison d'etre.

One year has passed long ago. All the effort of Brush ended futile. Ohsama is working hard to achieve his aim.
And sheep, dogs and Humans of the Earth are engaged in spreading rumors, disinformation and half truths about The Dog. Everyone talks about The Dog everywhere - in colleges, in prayer houses, on beaches, in restaurants, everywhere -– some says The Dog had deja vu and escaped death, some says The Dog had died in the blow. But the dog; The Dog who knew the savoir vivre, is eating French Fries; may be alone or in a group, on the next table to gossipers -– silently and placidly in disguise. He has gone through a volte face of his personality.


Avant-Garde Unorthodox writer or artist

Noveau Riche Ostentatious Person

Haut Monde The elite

brouhaha Furor, Uproar

Bete Noire Person / subject hated

cause celebre Case arousing attention and discussion

Coup d'etat An unexpected action

Haute Couture High fashion

Haute Cuisine Excellent cooking

carte Blanche Complete authority

esprit de corps Morale

vis-Ã -vis In regard to

faux pas A social error

par excellent Highest degree

tete-a-tete Close conversation between two people

laissez faire Policy of non-interference

coup de grace Blow that brings death

noblesse oblige Obligations imposed on high positions

savoir faire Instinctive ability to act appropriately

Enfant terrible Unconventional person

sang froid Self control

de rigueur Absolutely required

En passant By the way

fait accompli Irreversible act done without warning

raison d'etre Reason for existence

deja vu Feeling of having undergone, premonition

savoir vivre The Art of knowing how to live elegantly

volte face Complete reversal, up side down

Genre: Comedy, Drama

Category: For all age group.

Type: Writing, Education, Language

Language: English, French

Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur, 8:00 PM. August 6, 2006

Pornofied Posters

Genre : Porn/Comedy
Rating: Strictly 18+ due to offensive images and nudity.
Language: English
____________________________________________________________
Its holyday time so instead of eating your head by boring posts, here is something more enjoyable.Below are few images - spoofing movie in somewhat XXXian manner, I found them on
internet . Hope you'll enjoy.

Hey, Don't forget to read tags that I have provided on the side of each poster.







....... Got it? Its clear. It is "Score It like Bekham".
errrr!! Am I wrong with the tittle? Isn't is the tittle of original movie?



























..where are you?

Z->Y-> X-Men

similaraly, A -> B-> C-Men.

Naaah! you know what C-Men is standing for here. Don' cha?


















......... I, Row Boat. No? Then what do I do?
I rub butt?!!




















Its not a man, Its a machine.
....... A machine (re-) producing zillions of similar machine.
Want to know how?
Don't go the nearest theatre The Poster will be suffice.












I LOVE THEM WHO COMMENT ON MY BLOG!

Illusion, is it?

Normally, we forward these things in mails. But probably this has become a bad idea. So I uploaded it to my blog. If you enjoyed, please comment it.

got something special? Nah?! Don't you find Devilish Horn on Pope's head?



[Click the image to see full size image.]












Stare for one minute or blurr your eyes and concentrate one face of the lady. Something happened? Yeshhhhhhhhh! The Lady Opens Her Eyes. Isn't it Typical Gothic?






[Click the image to see full size image.]









nJOI!
Naishe