Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Odd into Odd

Odd into Odd: Life’s Unfair, get used to it.

Life isn’t a mathematical equation. N
Odd into Oddeither, it follows precise laws. There are odd situations when you are going through harsh times and everything goes exactly opposite as you would have think of to go to. But it gets worst when you find something very peculiar during the course of odd time; surely, the peculiarity would have been enjoying if everything had fallen into place but now it becomes an irony. A sick joke by your brain to your brain and oddly enough your brain is also supposed to be enjoying it – a psyche game.

Obviously, those who haven’t had such moments it must be pretty weird to imagine it. Sure enough if you have never given an interview, you can never have odd experience of not getting your eyes off the bra stripe which just peeped out of your women interviewer’s low cut shirt, at the time when you have messed everything up and a rescue mission (or more concentration on the words spoken) is required.

Clearly, in our lives odd into odd doesn’t make even.

I am going to describe one of such moment to you. It didn’t happen very far in past. In last semester during my project presentation, I was overconfident because I find everything so right that could not be any better. I have worked hard; at least harder than most of the students. I used to have frequent meetings with my guide. And everything was going too melodious to believe until Murphy [1] entered.

It was my project presentation and most of them including me would have never seen any worse presentation than this one. And irony was that when I was under trial (presenting my project) my brain was wondering on Pink Floyd’s ‘The Trial’ song. That wasn’t so bad, was it? It wasn’t over yet. I was correlating each part of my trial with the different pieces of the song. And finally I was doomed down by everything but imagination. At the end of the presentation when everyone was cursing me to ruin their precious IITian time, I was reciting Bill Gates [2] quote, “Life is unfair get used to it.”

Here is the original screenplay on my psyche stage. :)

[I suggest you to listen the song first, and then read the screenplay to enjoy it 100%.]

Title: The Trial

Music and Lyrics: Pink Floyd

Direction: Psyche


Myself as the accused / prisoner

Professors as Jury

Students as chorus and audience in court room

Guide as the schoolmaster

Stage: My Brain.

Audience: (On lousy presentation.)

Good morning, The Worm, Your Honour,
The Crown will plainly show,
The prisoner who now stands before you,
Was caught red-handed showing feelings.
Showing feelings of an almost human nature.

Jury: (On why the presentation was so lousy.)

This will not do.
Call the schoolmaster!

Schoolmaster: (Insisting I met him on fairly rare occasion and he kept warning me of such a fate.)

I always said he'd come to no good,
In the end, Your Honour.
If they'd let me have my way,
I could have flayed him into shape.
But my hands were tied.The bleeding hearts and artists,
Let him get away with murder. (Murder implies lousy presentation, bad project outcome)
Let me hammer him today.


Toys in the attic, I am crazy.
Truly gone fishing.

Prisoner: (defending myself by informing them that the work had never been tried before)

They must have taken my marbles away.
Crazy.Toys in the attic, he is crazy.

Jury : (Furiously)

You little shit, you're in it now.
I hope they throw away the key.

Schoolmaster: (along with Jury)

You should've talked to me more often than you did.
But no! You had to go your own way.
Have you broken any homes up lately?

One of the polite Jury: (Showing excessive favor)

Just five minutes, Worm, Your Honour,
Him and me alone.Baaaaaabe!
Come to Mother, baby.
Let me hold you in my arms.
M'Lord, I never meant for him to get in any trouble.
Why'd he ever have to leave me?
Worm, Your Honour, let me take him home.

Prisoner: (Now, yielding over excessive pressure and unexpected incidents.)

Over the rainbow, I am crazy.
Bars in the window.
There must have been a door there in the wall.
For when I came in.

Audience and Jury: (Happy on Prisoner’s acceptance.)

Over the rainbow, he is crazy.

Jury: (Dictating to work harder next time and giving me worst grade possible)

The evidence before the court is incontravertible.
There's no need for the jury to retire.
In all my years of judging I have never heard before,
Of someone more deserving of the full penalty of the law.
The way you made them suffer,
Your exquisite wife and mother, (Replace wife and mother with Guide and IIT emblem)
Fills me with the urge to deficate!
No, Judge, the jury!
Since, my friend, you have revealed your deepest fear,
I sentence you to be exposed before your peers.
Tear down the wall!

The End

[1] Murphy law says when everything seems too perfect you must have overlooked something.

[2] Bill Gates CEO Microsoft Inc.

[3] Lyrics source

© Copyrighted Nishant Neeraj. Ask before quote.

Disclaimer: Writer is a free thinker and the script is his personal view.

Genre: Real story based, Drama, Fun, Personal
Type: Personal View
Language: English
Category: For ALL age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. March 28, 2007. 09:00 in morning.

Monday, March 26, 2007


Breathe by Pink Floyd.
I love it.
I love Pink Floyd.
Especially when time gets tough and I become down and out.
Sympathy is an extravaganza in modern world and the kind of soothe their songs provide to me
can loosely assumed to be the closest thing to sympathy.

Here is the lyrics.


Breathe, breathe in the air

Don't be afraid to care

Leave but don't leave me

Look around and chose your own ground

For long you live and high you fly

And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry

And all you touch and all you see

Is all your life will ever be

Run, run rabbit run

Dig that hole, forget the sun,

And when at last the work is done

Don't sit down it's time to dig another one

For long you live and high you fly

But only if you ride the tide

And balanced on the biggest wave

You race toward an early grave.

- Pink Floyd (Dark Side Of The Moon)

Friday, March 23, 2007

Virginity, Envy, Boob 'n' Lalu Yadav

All I wanted was to create an exciting blog with some masala name yet matching with my personality. During my psycho state of earning money online I got fooled by this website to post as much as blogs per day as you can in order to reach at top 100 top bloggers who would be paid. And they will be selected every month. (See the story.)

I started posting using this blog-name, ‘Virginity, Envy, Boob and Lalu Prasad Yadav which I explained later in that blog. Here I am posting it again.

Virginity, Envy, Boob and Lalu Prasad Yadav Explained

You think it quite whacky and cheap title.
hmm. Yeah. It is cheap but whacky... no way.
Here is how

1. Why Virginity? Ask any 22 year old virgin boy what he thinks in every ten seconds; the reply would be uniquely constant. It is about VIRGINITY. (I can't say anything about girls. Hey girls out there can you give me some info on this?)

Be it a cool walk in a garden, be it a shopping mall, be it his conversation with his teacher about his lagging in the class, be it a job interview or be it train’s toilet; the brain constantly pinging virginity tab at every 10 seconds or less.

So it controls large processing time of my brain and hence a large part of my writings.

2. Why Envy? I envy. I love envying people. It gives me creativity and others good chunk of bad and vulgar masala about a third person.

I am in search of creative form of envy. I think I have got one.

3. Why Boob? Yeah that’s what exactly I thought when I first faced this word. Boob
mean female breast. Interesting? But no; what I am going to tell you about Boob would add fan of this word.

Boobies I typed Boob in Word Web dictionary pressed enter (Obviously, in search of more vulgar meaning and more tasty synonymous slang.) here is what I found:

Noun: boob
1. An ignorant or foolish person

2. Either of two soft fleshy milk-secreting glandular organs on the chest of a woman

Verb: boob
1. Commit a faux pas or a fault or make a serious mistake


Wow. I love it. I love word sin. Boob is sin. I am a fool, Boob is fool. I am a virgin. Hell! Boobs do have something to do with virgins.

4. Why Lalu Prasad Yadav? I admire Lalu Prasad Yadav for whatever he is. I dont know much about him. I don’t know general public opinion about him.

Lalu YadavBut I think himself as a creative person, a person who speaks WHATEVER HE WISH.

That is what I am going to do.
Write whatever I wish.

All Hail. Lalu Prasad Yadav, Zindabad - Zindagood.

Genre: 18+, Fiction, Fun, Personal
Type: Personal View
Language: English
For 18+ age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. March 23, 2007, 10:45 in night.

Originally published at:

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Formatting Windows

…When You Decide to Format Windows.

New Hard Disk in Old Computer: My friends find it very easy to do and I used to think the same way when I added a new hard disk to my not-so-technical friend's computer. But this time Murphy was with me and happened exactly what he says – easy tasks get tough exactly when you don’t want it to be. I did install the HDD but with minor modification; I had to make it primary and hence install everything into new drive – a marathon job of long 8 hours. (Yeah, I have archaic computer with 256SDR, 1.6 GHz P4 and CRT monitor!)

Here are few things if you are installing extra HDD in your computer. (It’s kind of layman’s approach for all the laymen who, like me, afraid of reading long technical details.)

Rule 1: IDE-HDD connectorBuy maximum hard disk capacity you can because no matter how capacious HDD you buy it can never accommodate the things you always wanted on your computer.

But must read your mother board manual for maximum HDD capacity it can accommodate. As far as I know up to 320 GB is supportable by all MoBos, yet you check MoBo manual or dig internet (In case you’ve lost the manual.)

Rule 2: Make sure your HDD comes with a warranty and in case of malfunction during installation you can reach the service centre to get help.

Rule 3: Ask the procedure to install the HDD in your computer and provide all information about your computer’s configuration even if you think s/he things you’re retarded or something.

Get an expert or you can or follow the steps given below.

Rule 4: Open your computer’s cabinet, see a wire stripe running from your MoBo to your existing HDD. And also see this wire has three pins on pinned into mother board, another in existing HDD and one empty (most common case.)

Rule 5: Ensure that your previous hard disk is attached to the pin which is at the end of the 80-pin striped wire. AnHDD Pin Configurationd secondly put the jumper of both the HDDs in cable select mode.

(By doing so, you say to your computer, “Hey! I don’t know which one is master and which one slave, you decide it based on the pin which I connect it to. The one, which I connect with pin at the end of the cable, would be the master and other one slave.”)

See the image, click to enlarge it.

Rule 5: Place your new HDD into cabinet slot screw tight it. Power it with one of the 4-pin power chord coming from SMPS. Do not worry, the grooves are made in such a way you can not connect it wrongly.

Rule 6: Connect the pin at the end to the hard disk having OS (Your older HDD) and the middle pin to the new HDD.

Most of the cases it works. But if you’re as unfortunate as me, it won’t. In that case you’ll meet people saying, “Buddy, you’ve got faulty disk get a new one.” because while formatting you’ve got an error saying “Drive did not format successfully.”

I tried everything from Partition Magic to Seagate’s Seatool nothing worked. Few diagnoses say disk is ok, other say disk is faulty and still others get hanged while checking the disk.

Whole drama took some 4 good hours of my busy day and then I decided to install windows in new HDD and use only that one and if it worked, I would sell old HDD for dirt.

I removed old HDD, gave primary connection to new HDD and tried to install it. It worked. Then just for experiment sake I connected my old drive in secondary pin. Wow, both were working. But shit I’d to install windows and many soft-wares which added another four hour and a day wasted.

Some says the error was because I attached a higher RPM HDD to secondary or high capacity disk to 2ndory connector. But still these configurations work in other’s computer. Why it didn’t in mine?

5 things you must do before you format your HDD

  1. Copy and save all of your documents; especially, your projects, memorable images and everything else which you can not find on other computer.

  2. Most of the time good and handy application data are created by long use of some software like Firefox (your shortcuts, Bookmarks, saved passwords etc), DC++ (Hashed files, hub address, favorite hub and user, passwords), Media player information database (where your music ranking, frequency and favorite and tagged song data are saved). Save them so that you can replace them and work as easily as you used to do. Without tweaking new settings.

  3. Keep your MoBo CD with you. If you’ve lost it download and burn it from MoBo manufacturer’s website before you format the computer.

  4. Keep installation files few essential software like Firefox, Antivirus, Winrar, All audio, graphics, webcam driver, Delete recovery programs.

  5. And check the calendar if it is a proper day to format your computer without hampering any thing more important.

Friday, March 16, 2007

My Favorite Actresses

Why do I like these Actresses?

(Why do I like it series)

My choice must really be hard to find. What I see in an actress is not necessarily her beauty or her acting or I don’t know. Perhaps it just clicks fit in my brain or perhaps it is momentary flow of emotion on certain point of time or it is nothing. I don’t know. But I like them for some reason I don’t know. Here I try to decipher why I like them. But I find myself unsuccessful. I don’t know why?

These Pictures and other my favorite pictures of them can be found at Flickr please click

JJuhi Chawlauhi Chawla: Child-like laugh, cool, full of energy whatever. I like her for whatever she is.

Since: I don't know when but I guess that is quite a long time. I still like her.

Why: Innocence, no emotional crap, Not only happy but happy as a crazy. She is live and buoyant. What else do you need, hmm?

Sushmita Sen: I haven't seen any of her movies properly. Seen some glimpses of her movie Sushmita Sennames "Main hoon naa" [1]. I am her fan. I love reading her interviews and about her life.

Since: It isn't her movies that impressed me most but I like the ways she is. I don't know exactly when but I can tell you it is somewhere around year 2000 when I started to make my point of views on things around.

Why: At least she has got brain, again no emotional crap, lives her life fullest, does whatever she wishes, mature, beautiful (least of my concerns), independent.

Maggie Gyllenhaal
[2]: She is not beautiful enough to be qualified in Bollywood as a star or say
Maggie Gllynhaalan actress. But I don't know what about her appeals me most. I think she is great as a whole package.

Since: Since I saw her movie 'Secretary' [3] and It wasn't long ago yet around start of 2005.

Why: She has got extra ordinary facial expressions and can expresses every emotion clearly and sharply without speaking a single word, bold, her voice, Mature.

Ana Faris [4]: Girl that acts fool. I don't know if she can act or not or whether she is cuckoo but
Ana Farissome how she manages to do her work to look pretty and stupid. I loved her the most in 'The Hot Chick' [5].

Since: Since 'Scary Movies' [6] searched her.

Why: Jolly, joyful, stupid yet innocent, laughing yet shy.

Monica Bellucci [7]: Most obvious choice for most obvious reasons. She is everything you've wMonica Belluccianted; great looking no no stunning, great actress, Italian tongue and everything else what you can think of.

Since: Since 2002.

Why: Do I need to answer this? Anyways, she is mature, bold, no emotional craps, diplomatic (Yeah, this is the thing I like most).


[1] Main Hoon Naa

[2] Maggie's Profile

[3] Secretary

[4] Ana Faris' Prifile

[5] The Hot Chick

[6] Scary Movie

[7] Monica Bellucci

Genre: Documentary
Type: Persona View
Language: English
Category: For ALL age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. March 16, 2007. 10:20 in night.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Drooling on Dollars

Drooling on Dollars or How can you drive good people mad, online?

I am not a good person. Yeah, you know some pretty good things about me being not-so-good-when-needed. But I am as sure as damn if I give you $1000 (Rs. 42000) for copying and pasting (or creating and writing) WHATEVER-RUBBISH-YOU-WANT and then post it to some nasty blog you would start doing it until you realize it needs you to post thousands posts to reach in the slab of people whom they pay. Moreover your content and creativity doesn’t matter, it’s totally a number game.

This website, is advertising to pay you for doing same shit and have attracted quit a crowd, the website is so much loaded on peak hours that you cant even access it because of server is overloaded error. And few users (by few I mean thousands) post every 3 minutes (I refresh the recent post list and seen them very frequent and consistent) day-in day-out.

I got trapped thinking it as a competition of good blog and started posting some very interesting yet obscure things to attract the gathering; created very-very real nice avatar of Shakti Kapoor with special effected added by me to make it look as in Eastman Color; gave it very innovative name Virginity, Envy, Boob and Lalu Prasad Yadav (I, however, explained how it is consistent with my profile later in a blog at the site.). But creativity has a limitation you cannot be creative in bulk, reverse is not true. So when I found I, with genuine garbage on internet is lagging by some good 3000 rank, can not win with this or even come close enough to be in three digit ranks I started spamming and spammed my ass off. Here I was in below 1k group but not satisfied because it is a crap to do. I’ve been wasting too much of time for too little. And perhaps there are good people out there punching their nails in keypad, stretching their eyes wide not to miss a single word from the image that is kept for automatic spam protection but not for manual. People with a pint of hope that only-if they push their rank perhaps one hundred more towards the top they could buy a digicam or perhaps an earring for his girlfriend and this motive keeps their fingertips alive and its revenue.

You can access this new and soon to be closed blog of mine at, address is

© Copyrighted Nishant Neeraj. Ask before quote.

Disclaimer: Writer has nothing to do with or its related business. Writer is a free thinker and the script is his personal view.

Genre: Real story based, Drama, Fun, Personal
Type: Personal View
Language: English
Category: For ALL age group
Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. March 13, 2007. 02:25 in afternoon.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Varanasi Re-learnt

Varanasi Re-learnt

Kabeers Varanasi

Means: Prostitutes (Raand), Bulls/ Oxen (Saand), Stairways (Seerhi) and Monks (Sanyasi); there is no escape from these in Varanasi.

Even though whole of my childhood, adolescence and a part of young-age have been wasted in Varanasi.

Ahem! Ahem! MSWord’s red wavy line cursing me to rephrase above sentence…so here is “MSWord compatible” version

Even though, I have wasted whole of my childhood, adolescence and a part of young age in Varanasi. I learn new things about Varanasi, every time I visit – apart from above mentioned tetra-invariants.

Dogs per mile, Miles per dog: Train dropped me at Mughalsarai and since Malaviya Bridgewas under repair I had to go to Varanasi through National Highway (NH-2) which adds 30 more kilometers to make it a total 50 km from station to home with 40 km on HIGHWAY.

While on highway I found my interest in dead dogs. They were of two types, Dead and ‘Dead and Flat’ (as in Tom and Jerry).**

Here is the data:

On the way from Mughalsarai to Varanasi: (Morning 10:00 AM)

Dog 1 – Dead and Flat
Dog 2 – Dead and Flat
Dog 3 – Dead
Dog 4 – Dead and Flat

On the way from Varanasi to Mughalsarai: (Evening 04:00 PM)

Dog 4 – Dead and Flat
Dog 3 – Dead
Dog 2 – Dead and Flat
Dog 1 – Dead
Dog 0 – Dead and Flat

Here is the inference:

  1. Most of the dogs which die on highways get flat.
  2. If it is first and/or last dead dog in your journey on a highway, it have to be ‘Dead and Flat’ one.
  3. More dogs die in evening than in morning.
  4. Dead dogs never bark, never chase other dog, and never feel bad about dirty truck tyres running over their colorful skin.
  5. There is high probability of getting a dead / dead and flat dog in every 10 km of a national highway.
  6. Crows are more interested in eating a dead dog than a dead and flat dog. And usually big crows eat dead dog and small crows dead and flat dog.

Dainik Jagran Explains: Dainik Jagran, a local newspaper which prints as true news as I speak, expalains the next day that high mortality rate of dogs on roads is due to their mating seasons
[1] and they supported the fact by referring some studies done by a professor of BHU [2].

I wrote to the editor that dogs fuck in mating season not commit suicide. And also mailed to the professor asking why the hell he was interested in dog sex. Was human doing it remained no more interesting?

McD and Multiplex: Varanasi has got two MacDonald’s and two multiplexes in last six months.

‘Someone’ asked ‘Other someone’, “Why are all the ‘Banarasies’ [3] shaking their bum with their mouth shut while watching SRK’s Don?” ‘Other someone' replied, “They all are having McD’s Banarasi Paan while watching changed chhora Ganga Kinaare walaa at new multiplex and keeping their bum plume clean. Do you ever watch cartoons?”

Roads and Language: Both are getting Biharier to Bihariest. More and more people from Bihar are migrating to Varanasi, more and more roads are getting blistered, and more and more Bihari words are being used.

Trend is same in regional songs.

Schwarzenegger to Aranoldwaa: I went to a local pirated-CD shop about one year ago asking whether he had the movie Zumanji. Here is how he replied. (Bhojpuri) ‘Eee Jummaan jee – chummaan jee hum naa rakkhilaa. Aur kahin milbo naa kari.’ (English equivalent) ‘These shitty Joomanjee – Smoochanjee I don’t keep. And you WILL not get it anywhere else.

One year later same shop. I asked for a newly released Hindi movie. While I was waiting for him to get rid of a customer, a boy of around sixteen came to me (perhaps thinking myself as new assistant of the shopkeeper) and asked for any new movie of ‘Aranoldwaa’. I asked, “Who?” He said, “Don’t you know? Arre, ARNOWWLDWAA yaar. That Fatty… Have you ever seen any AngaRejee Mobhie? ” My jaw dropped down as I was gawking at him.

Soon the shopkeeper returned to the boy and showed him a list of almost hundred English movies which were dubbed in Hindi. To my relief Zumanji was there in the list.

[*] "Dead and Flat": Some dog which die on road remain as they died because people / vehicle don't run over it again and again keeping when-died-3D-structure preserved but some other are not that lucky and once dead people run over them as many time as they can and they loose their death 3D structure by turning themselves into skin thick which looks like road sticking dog's Halloween costume.

We dont see such seen very frequently in our daily lives yet all those, who can afford a TV and still afford a cable connection (and yet afford their children!) in a inflation-o-phile (or Amrika driven) country like India, can see these events in cartoon show named "Tom and Jerry" where at some instant of time when a characted is ran over by a car/ truck or pressed behind the door or comes undes eXtra ordinary load becomes "Flat". Just snach life out of the character and you can see "Dead and Flat".

(On request for a definiton for "Dead and Flat")



[3] All denizens of princely state of Varanasi.

Clarification: No sir, I don't have an issue with Bihari Junta or Bihar or Laloo Prasad Yadav, it is all what I found there and Innocently reported my POV.


Genre: Fun, Travel
Type: Personal View
Language: English, Hindi, Bhojpuri
NOT for below 15 yrs

Place and Time: IIT Kharagpur. March 9, 2007. Evening 09:20 PM.