Baby's Bad-Day

Baby’s Bad-Day

{Before You Read This Article I declare that this post should not be considered as SERIOUS. This post is just a recreation of an humorous event. I retouched whole event. Lastly and more importantly this post do not mean to hurt, humiliate, disgust or mock anyone. Please enjoy this post and do not take it otherwise. I apologise in advance for using such a foully language. }

Sky was clear, smooth-cold-eastern wind was creeping silently, moon was on glory and three devil minds were searching for a prey – searching insanely. Hovering on Orkut profiles they finally got one – The One who will be made to suffer for no reason – It was Baby and the “No Reason” was baby’s profile photograph which has (or had – if removed) enhanced brightness. So the drama begins. What you are going to find next is the scrapbook entries made to Baby’s Orkut Scrapbook by the worshipers of devil. Note that these Scraps have been deleted by Baby after no more than 10 minutes when it was posted.

Event timing: 11: 10 PM to 12:05 AM, January 12, 2006

Language: Hindi

Genre: Offensive, Abusive and Comedy

Rating: R for pervasive language. Strictly for 18+

Casting: Baby (Hero), Dharmu, Nema and Naishe in Guest Appearance (Main Villains), introducing – Tauseef Rouff and Mathur, Spl. Thanks to GP

Trivia: Based on True Story of RK CGE.

Goof: When the play starts it is mentioned that the ‘event’ takes place sometime around mid-night but the last scene is pictured on evening.

[Following is conversation with Baby through Orkut Scrapbook]

Naishe: Kya be Baby Jhaantu! Kitna percent brighness badaa rakha hai?

[After10 minutes, it was found that message was deleted and without any warning Naishe (Nishant) was removed from Orkut friend-list of Baby]

Dharmu: Baby Betic**d delete (Message) Q kiya be? Aur agar Nishant ko delete kiya hai to mujhe bhi delete kar de. Tune ek dost ko delete kiya… ja ab Lambu ko chhodkar, poori wing ko delete kar de. Ek baat aur yeh jo tera baal hai naa use thik karwaa le chooze jaisa lagta hai. Saale yehi dosti hai teri .. ja mujhe bhi delete kar de aur Load le le. Time ho gaya hai load lene ka. BYE choozaa dost.

Apurva: Murga bola kukudoo kooooon, Hua savera. Soye Kyun… next time when you go to barber shop take written instruction to the barber and write them before you get drunk.

[Baby. Enters in Naishe’ room (The then Adda for lukkhagiri)…. Next conversation is live ]

Baby: Dharmu madharc**d, Behan***d, maa ke l****, …chutiye saale. Tere ko aur koi kaam nahi hai kya? Jab dekho doosaro ko pareshaan karta rave hai.

Dharmu: Tune Nishant ko delete kyu kiya? Saaale yehi dost….

Baby: Delete karoon naa karoon tereko kya?... Scrap ghar ke log padte hain. Tum saale…. Yehi hai tumhari.. jahaan teri locality hai wahi .. ka asar hai. Tum log ki locality hi gandi hai. Aur tu Nema saale..

Nema: Are? Maine kya kiya bhai? Kyun bekar mere maathe aa reha hai. Baby Sun…

Dharmu: Haan CGE ka hi asar hai. Tere bagal mein rehta hoon naa. Isi ka asar hai……

Baby: Aur yrh Buddha (Mathur) salaa. Haraaam ka tattaa. Marega saale…

[Baby leaves the room and enters into Mathur’s room…. Mathur starts screaming.. it gets louder and then stops abruptly. Some conversation takes place and baby leaves his room and return to his own room]

[Dharmu’s profile gets banned by Baby. Next conversations are on Orkut Scrapbook]

Tauseef: Kya be fir se delete kar diya… kis-kis ko delete karega? Is tarah to sirf teen log bachenge – you know who – lol. Chooze baal mujhe nahi .. barber ko ja ke maar.

[Tauseef’s profile gets banned]

[Scraping through GP’s profile was tried but it was found that he had got banned even before he could send a single scrap message.]

Nema: Kya be Khujli Master…ohh … oh .. sorry Bluffmaster ke bhai Khujlimaster.. delete kar mujhe bhi saale… choooze baal wale… baal kataa k kahin aur lagaa le .. jahaan tu baal chhupa sake. Aaj se jindagibhar main tujhe roz 100 scrap bhejunga.. yeh hai hamaaraa new year ka resolution … Aur haan plz meri profile friend-list mein add kar le yaar .. yeh mera nayaa banayaa hua ID hai.

[After10 minutes, it was found that scrap was nor deleted]

Nema: Kya be abhi tak delete nahi kiya. Dekh maine nayaa ID bhi banaa liya. Choooze.

[10 minutes later. No reaction.]

Nema: Pyaar hamaaraa chhoote naa. Dosti yeh toote naa. Tu Orkut se chaahe hume delete kar dena…… Are!! Yeh to kavita ban gayi. With love your Wingmates .[Kiss]

[2 minutes later]

Nema: Baby ban kar… jo tarika Sahi Singh (Guess?) ne batayaa ho tere ko. Ab tera load lene ka time khatam ho gayaa Qki tera barah baj gayaa hai.

[This message could never be sent because Nema was benned till now. Other wing-mates denied sending a message in order to maintain a better DIPLOMATIC relation with baby. And the long conversation of baby with Mathur made him the weakest link of chain. Now Scraping is over but Asses of all characters were Red for a real-time drama. ]

[Dharmu started commenting on Baby which made Baby furious. Baby attacked Dharmu, having killer spirit within. The story ends with Baby’s non-achievable chase for Dharmu. The last scene fades up showing baby running behind Dharmu on a flat dusty Ground, before them there is a large, pale-red, tired evening-sun about to die and the two rivals disappears beyond the horizon. ]

Credits:

Direction, Script and Narration: Nishant Neeraj a.k.a. Naishe

Production, Marketing & Advertisement: Dharmendra Kumar a.k.a. Dharmu

Stunts and Special Effects: ****** a.k.a. baby

Distributor: Blogspot, Google Corp.

Special Thanks to: All the members of RK CGE, Tauseef Rouff and SF2006 which made Naishe so sick that he found it less boring to recreate a useless event.

© 2006: BEZU FAAKAY ENTERTAINMENT LTD.

Jan 20, 2006; 3:00 A.M., Kharagpur, India

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